{stuccosalt} I'll be home for christm... Log Out | Topics | Search
Moderators | Register | Edit Profile

Lateral Puzzles » Solved Lateral Thinking Puzzles » Solved Puzzles - Jan 2005 » {stuccosalt} I'll be home for christmas « Previous Next »

  Thread Last Poster Posts Pages Last Post
Archive through December 22, 2004Ed Mason22 12-22-04  1:15 pm
Archive through December 29, 2004Ed Mason22 12-29-04  1:17 pm
  ClosedClosed: New threads not accepted on this page        

Author Message
(Stuccosalt)
Posted on Wednesday, December 29, 2004 - 1:30 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

RECAP
Because he proved to be the most qualified applicant, Randy didn't get the job.

Randy was interviewing to play the role of Santa for a church-sponsored event. The job would simply be to allow children to sit on his lap and tell him what they want for Christmas.

During the interview, physical- and age-related issues were raised.

Randy presented evidence including references that proved he was qualified for the job.

Randy was not hired because of experiences deemed sinful or immoral by the church's interviewers.
Tim A. Dowd (Bodo)
Posted on Wednesday, December 29, 2004 - 8:36 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

He had played Santa before? Was he an actor?

Sinful: one of the top ten (thou-shalt-nots)? Seven deadlies? Not actually mentioned in the bible (e. g. Gambling)?
(Stuccosalt)
Posted on Thursday, December 30, 2004 - 1:45 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

By Tim A. Dowd (Bodo):

He had played Santa before? Was he an actor? Irrel.

Sinful: one of the top ten (thou-shalt-nots)? Seven deadlies? This is pretty accurate..
Not actually mentioned in the bible (e. g. Gambling)? But the specific act could also fit here.
Shawn Franchi (Doctapeppa)
Posted on Saturday, January 01, 2005 - 8:13 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Is he a man who solicits clients for a prostitute?
(Stuccosalt)
Posted on Monday, January 03, 2005 - 1:17 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

By Shawn Franchi (Doctapeppa):

Is he a man who solicits clients for a prostitute? No, but sort of along the right path... his work experience is irrel.
Tim A. Dowd (Bodo)
Posted on Monday, January 03, 2005 - 3:01 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Is/was he married? Any plural marriage involved? Has he had a lot of kids himself? Has he rustled reindeer? Stolen sleighs? Smuggled elves over the border? Broken and entered? Climbed down chimneys?
(Stuccosalt)
Posted on Monday, January 03, 2005 - 3:26 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

By Tim A. Dowd (Bodo):

Is/was he married? Irrel.
Any plural marriage involved? Has he had a lot of kids himself? Has he rustled reindeer? Stolen sleighs? Smuggled elves over the border? Broken and entered? Climbed down chimneys? None of these, but I've heard about them elf rustlers.
Tim A. Dowd (Bodo)
Posted on Monday, January 03, 2005 - 3:57 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Actually many of the local manufacturing concerns have been pressuring the governments (both state and federal) to raise the number of annual elf visas--paricularly the shoe and toy makers--but the unions are pushing back pretty hard...

Ok, then, if one of the seven deadlies: Pride? Avarice? Envy? Wrath? Lust? Gluttony? Sloth?

If one of the top-ten: no other deities before? No carven images? No name-taking-in-vain? Sabbath-remembering? Parental honoring? No murdering? No adulterying (adulterificationing/adulterifying?)? No stealing? No false-witnessing? No coveting?
(Stuccosalt)
Posted on Monday, January 03, 2005 - 5:29 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

By Tim A. Dowd (Bodo):

Elf-related Simpsons moment: "I hired him to find out who's been cobbling shoes in my house at night. It turns out I'm severely schizophrenic." - Lenny


Ok, then, if one of the seven deadlies: Pride? Avarice? Envy? Wrath? Lust? This one
Gluttony? Sloth?

If one of the top-ten: no other deities before? No carven images? No name-taking-in-vain? Sabbath-remembering? Parental honoring? No murdering? No adulterying (adulterificationing/adulterifying?)? No stealing? No false-witnessing? No coveting?
Tim A. Dowd (Bodo)
Posted on Monday, January 03, 2005 - 6:37 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Did he emphasize how much he loves children? But it seemed like an unsavory sort of "love"? Like he's a member of NAMBLA or something?
(Stuccosalt)
Posted on Monday, January 03, 2005 - 7:22 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

By Tim A. Dowd (Bodo):

Did he emphasize how much he loves children? But it seemed like an unsavory sort of "love"? Like he's a member of NAMBLA or something? No, the lustful behavior, and the way in which it was brought to interviewer's attention, were not related to the job in that direct a way.
Tim A. Dowd (Bodo)
Posted on Monday, January 03, 2005 - 9:17 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Does he have some sort of relevant fetish (or maybe fetishes)? Pornography relevant? Does he like hanging around women in elf costumes?

Is his sexual orientation relevant? Promiscuity?
(Stuccosalt)
Posted on Tuesday, January 04, 2005 - 12:41 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

By Tim A. Dowd (Bodo):

Does he have some sort of relevant fetish (or maybe fetishes)? Nothing unusual
Pornography relevant? Close...
Does he like hanging around women in elf costumes? Who doesn't?

Is his sexual orientation relevant? Promiscuity? No to these
Tim A. Dowd (Bodo)
Posted on Tuesday, January 04, 2005 - 3:23 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Voyeurism* relevant?


* "He knows when you are sleeping,
he knows when you're awake,
he knows when you've been bad or good..."
(Stuccosalt)
Posted on Tuesday, January 04, 2005 - 5:10 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

By Tim A. Dowd (Bodo):

Voyeurism* relevant? A little more hands-on than voyeurism...
Shawn Franchi (Doctapeppa)
Posted on Wednesday, January 05, 2005 - 1:47 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I am sorry, but I have to ask this question. Did he choke his chicken?
(Stuccosalt)
Posted on Wednesday, January 05, 2005 - 12:46 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

By Shawn Franchi (Doctapeppa):

I am sorry, but I have to ask this question. Did he choke his chicken? Irrel.

HINT:Earlier someone discovered that Randy produced references that proved he was up to the job; explore.
Tim A. Dowd (Bodo)
Posted on Wednesday, January 05, 2005 - 8:24 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

References in the form of a restraining order? Some other legal document? Newspaper/periodical clippings? Rap sheet? Mass quantities of kiddie porn or XXX anime mags?
(Stuccosalt)
Posted on Thursday, January 06, 2005 - 1:20 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

By Tim A. Dowd (Bodo):

References in the form of a restraining order? Some other legal document? Newspaper/periodical clippings? Rap sheet? Mass quantities of kiddie porn or XXX anime mags? No, but good thinking. Think 'references' in the job application sense of the word - they were people the interviewer could contact.
Tim A. Dowd (Bodo)
Posted on Thursday, January 06, 2005 - 6:01 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

D'oh! Should've thought of this one sooner...must be my clean mind, yeah, that's it...

Lap dances relevant?
(Stuccosalt)
Posted on Thursday, January 06, 2005 - 7:12 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

By Tim A. Dowd (Bodo):

D'oh! Should've thought of this one sooner...must be my clean mind, yeah, that's it...

Lap dances relevant? As always, yes indeed.
Tim A. Dowd (Bodo)
Posted on Thursday, January 06, 2005 - 7:30 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

So when the interviewer asked what kind of experience he had relative to the gig he explained that the girls from the Pink Armadillo Gentleman's Club and Spa had been in his lap hundreds--if not thousands--of times, they could call the club and check? Something like that?
(Stuccosalt)
Posted on Thursday, January 06, 2005 - 8:51 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

By Tim A. Dowd (Bodo):

So when the interviewer asked what kind of experience he had relative to the gig he explained that the girls from the Pink Armadillo Gentleman's Club and Spa had been in his lap hundreds--if not thousands--of times, they could call the club and check? Something like that? This is the bulk of it...

!!!!! SPOILER !!!!!
Because he proved to be the most qualified applicant, Randy didn't get the job.

Randy applied for the role of Santa in a church-run event, which would entail children sitting on his lap to tell him what they wanted for Christmas. While he looked the part, the man who interviewed him was afraid that, due to his age, he might not be able to handle the physical rigor of having toddlers jumping up into his lap over and over for a long period of time.

To prove to the interviewer that he was fit for the job, Randy provided the names of several strippers from which he frequently received lap dances, noting that he would often get as many lap dances in one night as he was likely to get kids on his lap doing the Santa job. Somehow despite this evidence, the church looked for another applicant.

Nice work Bodo, and everyone who pitched in!

Add Your Message Here
Post:
Username: Posting Information:
This is a private posting area. Only registered users and moderators may post messages here.
Password:
Options: Enable HTML code in message
Automatically activate URLs in message
Action: