| Author |
Message |
(Stuccosalt)
| | Posted on Wednesday, December 29, 2004 - 1:30 pm: |       |
RECAP
Because he proved to be the most qualified applicant, Randy didn't get the job.
Randy was interviewing to play the role of Santa for a church-sponsored event. The job would simply be to allow children to sit on his lap and tell him what they want for Christmas.
During the interview, physical- and age-related issues were raised.
Randy presented evidence including references that proved he was qualified for the job.
Randy was not hired because of experiences deemed sinful or immoral by the church's interviewers. |
Tim A. Dowd (Bodo)
| | Posted on Wednesday, December 29, 2004 - 8:36 pm: | |
He had played Santa before? Was he an actor?
Sinful: one of the top ten (thou-shalt-nots)? Seven deadlies? Not actually mentioned in the bible (e. g. Gambling)? |
(Stuccosalt)
| | Posted on Thursday, December 30, 2004 - 1:45 pm: | |
By Tim A. Dowd (Bodo):
He had played Santa before? Was he an actor? Irrel.
Sinful: one of the top ten (thou-shalt-nots)? Seven deadlies? This is pretty accurate..
Not actually mentioned in the bible (e. g. Gambling)? But the specific act could also fit here. |
Shawn Franchi (Doctapeppa)
| | Posted on Saturday, January 01, 2005 - 8:13 am: | |
Is he a man who solicits clients for a prostitute? |
(Stuccosalt)
| | Posted on Monday, January 03, 2005 - 1:17 pm: | |
By Shawn Franchi (Doctapeppa):
Is he a man who solicits clients for a prostitute? No, but sort of along the right path... his work experience is irrel. |
Tim A. Dowd (Bodo)
| | Posted on Monday, January 03, 2005 - 3:01 pm: | |
Is/was he married? Any plural marriage involved? Has he had a lot of kids himself? Has he rustled reindeer? Stolen sleighs? Smuggled elves over the border? Broken and entered? Climbed down chimneys? |
(Stuccosalt)
| | Posted on Monday, January 03, 2005 - 3:26 pm: | |
By Tim A. Dowd (Bodo):
Is/was he married? Irrel.
Any plural marriage involved? Has he had a lot of kids himself? Has he rustled reindeer? Stolen sleighs? Smuggled elves over the border? Broken and entered? Climbed down chimneys? None of these, but I've heard about them elf rustlers. |
Tim A. Dowd (Bodo)
| | Posted on Monday, January 03, 2005 - 3:57 pm: | |
Actually many of the local manufacturing concerns have been pressuring the governments (both state and federal) to raise the number of annual elf visas--paricularly the shoe and toy makers--but the unions are pushing back pretty hard...
Ok, then, if one of the seven deadlies: Pride? Avarice? Envy? Wrath? Lust? Gluttony? Sloth?
If one of the top-ten: no other deities before? No carven images? No name-taking-in-vain? Sabbath-remembering? Parental honoring? No murdering? No adulterying (adulterificationing/adulterifying?)? No stealing? No false-witnessing? No coveting? |
(Stuccosalt)
| | Posted on Monday, January 03, 2005 - 5:29 pm: | |
By Tim A. Dowd (Bodo):
Elf-related Simpsons moment: "I hired him to find out who's been cobbling shoes in my house at night. It turns out I'm severely schizophrenic." - Lenny
Ok, then, if one of the seven deadlies: Pride? Avarice? Envy? Wrath? Lust? This one
Gluttony? Sloth?
If one of the top-ten: no other deities before? No carven images? No name-taking-in-vain? Sabbath-remembering? Parental honoring? No murdering? No adulterying (adulterificationing/adulterifying?)? No stealing? No false-witnessing? No coveting? |
Tim A. Dowd (Bodo)
| | Posted on Monday, January 03, 2005 - 6:37 pm: | |
Did he emphasize how much he loves children? But it seemed like an unsavory sort of "love"? Like he's a member of NAMBLA or something? |
(Stuccosalt)
| | Posted on Monday, January 03, 2005 - 7:22 pm: | |
By Tim A. Dowd (Bodo):
Did he emphasize how much he loves children? But it seemed like an unsavory sort of "love"? Like he's a member of NAMBLA or something? No, the lustful behavior, and the way in which it was brought to interviewer's attention, were not related to the job in that direct a way. |
Tim A. Dowd (Bodo)
| | Posted on Monday, January 03, 2005 - 9:17 pm: | |
Does he have some sort of relevant fetish (or maybe fetishes)? Pornography relevant? Does he like hanging around women in elf costumes?
Is his sexual orientation relevant? Promiscuity? |
(Stuccosalt)
| | Posted on Tuesday, January 04, 2005 - 12:41 pm: | |
By Tim A. Dowd (Bodo):
Does he have some sort of relevant fetish (or maybe fetishes)? Nothing unusual
Pornography relevant? Close...
Does he like hanging around women in elf costumes? Who doesn't?
Is his sexual orientation relevant? Promiscuity? No to these |
Tim A. Dowd (Bodo)
| | Posted on Tuesday, January 04, 2005 - 3:23 pm: | |
Voyeurism* relevant?
* "He knows when you are sleeping,
he knows when you're awake,
he knows when you've been bad or good..." |
(Stuccosalt)
| | Posted on Tuesday, January 04, 2005 - 5:10 pm: | |
By Tim A. Dowd (Bodo):
Voyeurism* relevant? A little more hands-on than voyeurism... |
Shawn Franchi (Doctapeppa)
| | Posted on Wednesday, January 05, 2005 - 1:47 am: | |
I am sorry, but I have to ask this question. Did he choke his chicken? |
(Stuccosalt)
| | Posted on Wednesday, January 05, 2005 - 12:46 pm: | |
By Shawn Franchi (Doctapeppa):
I am sorry, but I have to ask this question. Did he choke his chicken? Irrel.
HINT:Earlier someone discovered that Randy produced references that proved he was up to the job; explore. |
Tim A. Dowd (Bodo)
| | Posted on Wednesday, January 05, 2005 - 8:24 pm: | |
References in the form of a restraining order? Some other legal document? Newspaper/periodical clippings? Rap sheet? Mass quantities of kiddie porn or XXX anime mags? |
(Stuccosalt)
| | Posted on Thursday, January 06, 2005 - 1:20 pm: | |
By Tim A. Dowd (Bodo):
References in the form of a restraining order? Some other legal document? Newspaper/periodical clippings? Rap sheet? Mass quantities of kiddie porn or XXX anime mags? No, but good thinking. Think 'references' in the job application sense of the word - they were people the interviewer could contact. |
Tim A. Dowd (Bodo)
| | Posted on Thursday, January 06, 2005 - 6:01 pm: | |
D'oh! Should've thought of this one sooner...must be my clean mind, yeah, that's it...
Lap dances relevant? |
(Stuccosalt)
| | Posted on Thursday, January 06, 2005 - 7:12 pm: | |
By Tim A. Dowd (Bodo):
D'oh! Should've thought of this one sooner...must be my clean mind, yeah, that's it...
Lap dances relevant? As always, yes indeed. |
Tim A. Dowd (Bodo)
| | Posted on Thursday, January 06, 2005 - 7:30 pm: | |
So when the interviewer asked what kind of experience he had relative to the gig he explained that the girls from the Pink Armadillo Gentleman's Club and Spa had been in his lap hundreds--if not thousands--of times, they could call the club and check? Something like that? |
(Stuccosalt)
| | Posted on Thursday, January 06, 2005 - 8:51 pm: | |
By Tim A. Dowd (Bodo):
So when the interviewer asked what kind of experience he had relative to the gig he explained that the girls from the Pink Armadillo Gentleman's Club and Spa had been in his lap hundreds--if not thousands--of times, they could call the club and check? Something like that? This is the bulk of it...
!!!!! SPOILER !!!!!
Because he proved to be the most qualified applicant, Randy didn't get the job.
Randy applied for the role of Santa in a church-run event, which would entail children sitting on his lap to tell him what they wanted for Christmas. While he looked the part, the man who interviewed him was afraid that, due to his age, he might not be able to handle the physical rigor of having toddlers jumping up into his lap over and over for a long period of time.
To prove to the interviewer that he was fit for the job, Randy provided the names of several strippers from which he frequently received lap dances, noting that he would often get as many lap dances in one night as he was likely to get kids on his lap doing the Santa job. Somehow despite this evidence, the church looked for another applicant.
Nice work Bodo, and everyone who pitched in! |
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