| Author | Message | ||
| Balin (Balin)
New member Username: Balin Post Number: 5282 Registered: 4-2010 |
Over the course of high school, I observed something, which, for lack of a better name (and lack of knowing if it already has one), I am calling "Balin's Paradox." This paradox could also apply after high school, and possibly a short time before it as well. What is the paradox? | ||
| Kayleetonkslupin (Kayleetonkslupin)
New member Username: Kayleetonkslupin Post Number: 189 Registered: 9-2010 |
Has it got anything to do with: freshmen? sophomores? juniors? seniors? teachers? Could it apply to males and females equally? Does it depend on where the high school is? | ||
| Ixoye724 (Ixoye724)
New member Username: Ixoye724 Post Number: 2582 Registered: 1-2001 |
Well the obvious one would be that all through high school your teachers tell you that you are learning things that will help you in life, yet when you graduate you soon realize you only really use about 2% of what you spent 4 years learning. But the solution isn't going to likely be this, so...does the paradox concern academic studies? A specific area of study? A certain skill? | ||
| Balin (Balin)
New member Username: Balin Post Number: 5285 Registered: 4-2010 |
Has it got anything to do with: freshmen? sophomores? juniors? seniors? It could apply to all of these, but... teachers? ...not this. And an FA. Could it apply to males and females equally? Well, I observed this with males (well, mainly one male, by which I mean me), but females are extremely relevant to the paradox. And I suppose the reverse could be true for females, though I'd think it would be less likely. Does it depend on where the high school is? No | ||
| Balin (Balin)
New member Username: Balin Post Number: 5288 Registered: 4-2010 |
Well the obvious one would be that all through high school your teachers tell you that you are learning things that will help you in life, yet when you graduate you soon realize you only really use about 2% of what you spent 4 years learning. Not this, although that's certainly true. But the solution isn't going to likely be this, so...does the paradox concern academic studies? No A specific area of study? No A certain skill? Noish, svv of "skill" | ||
| Kayleetonkslupin (Kayleetonkslupin)
New member Username: Kayleetonkslupin Post Number: 191 Registered: 9-2010 |
Can you help clear up my FA without giving too much away, Balin? I feel stupid :-( | ||
| Balin (Balin)
New member Username: Balin Post Number: 5301 Registered: 4-2010 |
Can you help clear up my FA without giving too much away, Balin? I feel stupid :-( The FA has been cleared up - it was that the paradox had to do with academics. And don't worry, you're not stupid =) | ||
| Ixoye724 (Ixoye724)
New member Username: Ixoye724 Post Number: 2589 Registered: 1-2001 |
Does it relate to human behavior? Speech? Habits? | ||
| Balin (Balin)
New member Username: Balin Post Number: 5305 Registered: 4-2010 |
Does it relate to human behavior? Yopish Speech? No Habits? No | ||
| Potato (Potato)
New member Username: Potato Post Number: 94 Registered: 7-2010 |
Does it have to do with flirting? Being in love? Relationships? Making jokes about the other sex? Telling crude/exaggerated stories about being with someone of the other sex in some way? | ||
| Balin (Balin)
New member Username: Balin Post Number: 5356 Registered: 4-2010 |
Does it have to do with flirting? Yope Being in love? Yes Relationships? Yes Making jokes about the other sex? No Telling crude/exaggerated stories about being with someone of the other sex in some way? No | ||
| Biograd (Biograd)
New member Username: Biograd Post Number: 1038 Registered: 6-2008 |
Anything to do with freshmen wanting to date seniors? so that one's best time to date is right as one is getting to leave the school? while the freshmen themselves are also in a bad position, as many were torn out of their previous relationships in middle school and now get the least attention of anyone in their school? | ||
| Balin (Balin)
New member Username: Balin Post Number: 5359 Registered: 4-2010 |
Anything to do with freshmen wanting to date seniors? so that one's best time to date is right as one is getting to leave the school? while the freshmen themselves are also in a bad position, as many were torn out of their previous relationships in middle school and now get the least attention of anyone in their school? None of this, and I didn't see as much of this in high school. Good guess though. | ||
| Balin (Balin)
New member Username: Balin Post Number: 5379 Registered: 4-2010 |
EARLY RECAP: This paradox, which I observed as applying to males, involves relationships, but does not involve freshmen wanting to date seniors. I observed this throughout high school, and the paradox is likely most evident throughout the teenage years. HINT: I first noticed the paradox in retrospect of my high school years. | ||
| Ixoye724 (Ixoye724)
New member Username: Ixoye724 Post Number: 2620 Registered: 1-2001 |
Expecting relationships to last beyond school? Thinking that you'll marry someone that you meet in high school? | ||
| Balin (Balin)
New member Username: Balin Post Number: 5390 Registered: 4-2010 |
Expecting relationships to last beyond school? No, but slightly OTRT Thinking that you'll marry someone that you meet in high school? No, but more OTRT than the last q | ||
| Potato (Potato)
New member Username: Potato Post Number: 96 Registered: 7-2010 |
Stating that the guys don't want to marry or stay forever with their girlfriends? That the guys say that to each other when their girlfriends aren't around but when their girlfriends are around, they tell them how much they love them time and again? Is jelousy relevant? | ||
| Balin (Balin)
New member Username: Balin Post Number: 5428 Registered: 4-2010 |
Stating that the guys don't want to marry or stay forever with their girlfriends? No, although this may very well (sadly) be true. That the guys say that to each other when their girlfriends aren't around but when their girlfriends are around, they tell them how much they love them time and again? Not this Is jelousy relevant? Not really | ||
| Galfisk (Galfisk)
New member Username: Galfisk Post Number: 3222 Registered: 9-2009 |
Relevant: how relationships start? How they end? Why they end? How long they last? How many one person has? Who they are in a relationship with? Who they are interested in? Popularity relevant? Looks? Stereotypes? Sex? Age? relationships across schools relevant? Across classes? Within classes? | ||
| Balin (Balin)
New member Username: Balin Post Number: 5451 Registered: 4-2010 |
Relevant: how relationships start? Yesish How they end? No Why they end? No How long they last? No How many one person has? Yes (tiny ish) Who they are in a relationship with? Yes, assuming "they" is the girls Who they are interested in? Definitely, assuming "they" is the girls Popularity relevant? Noish Looks? Stereotypes? Sex? Age? No to rest relationships across schools relevant? Across classes? Within classes? The paradox can apply through all of these | ||
| Galfisk (Galfisk)
New member Username: Galfisk Post Number: 3229 Registered: 9-2009 |
Does the paradox apply especially to girls? To guys? Or both? Girls hooking up with guys who are jerks and then complaining about them being jerks relevant? Or staying with them, while complaining? Or claiming they find one thing attractive, while actually going for something else in reality? | ||
| Balin (Balin)
New member Username: Balin Post Number: 5462 Registered: 4-2010 |
Does the paradox apply especially to girls? To guys? Mainly to guys, but girls are involved Or both? Girls hooking up with guys who are jerks and then complaining about them being jerks relevant? No, but... Or staying with them, while complaining? No, but... Or claiming they find one thing attractive, while actually going for something else in reality? Yopish - these are all OTRT | ||
| Ixoye724 (Ixoye724)
New member Username: Ixoye724 Post Number: 2650 Registered: 1-2001 |
Is dating relevant? The length of time that two people date? The age at which two people start dating? The number of girls that 1 guy dates during a certain time span? | ||
| Balin (Balin)
New member Username: Balin Post Number: 5476 Registered: 4-2010 |
Is dating relevant? Yes The length of time that two people date? No The age at which two people start dating? Noish The number of girls that 1 guy dates during a certain time span? Yope | ||
| Ixoye724 (Ixoye724)
New member Username: Ixoye724 Post Number: 2652 Registered: 1-2001 |
The expectations involved with dating? Thinking that the purpose of dating is to find your future spouse? Or...thinking that the purpose of dating is to "weed out" people who are unsuitable as a future spouse (I suppose this would be somewhat of a paradox)? | ||
| Balin (Balin)
New member Username: Balin Post Number: 5479 Registered: 4-2010 |
The expectations involved with dating? Noish Thinking that the purpose of dating is to find your future spouse? Yope, OTRT Or...thinking that the purpose of dating is to "weed out" people who are unsuitable as a future spouse (I suppose this would be somewhat of a paradox)? Yope, OTRT | ||
| Ixoye724 (Ixoye724)
New member Username: Ixoye724 Post Number: 2654 Registered: 1-2001 |
How about the total disconnect between dating and marriage, that guys wouldn't marry the kind of girl they would date, or the other way around? | ||
| Balin (Balin)
New member Username: Balin Post Number: 5486 Registered: 4-2010 |
How about the total disconnect between dating and marriage, Yes... that guys wouldn't marry the kind of girl they would date, ...not this... or the other way around? ...but exactly this. I still am looking for a specific detail though before I $poyle. | ||
| Ixoye724 (Ixoye724)
New member Username: Ixoye724 Post Number: 2655 Registered: 1-2001 |
So guys are willing to, or desire to, date one (or more) certain kind(s) of girl, but eventually the kinds of girls they marry aren't at all like the ones they dated? | ||
| Ixoye724 (Ixoye724)
New member Username: Ixoye724 Post Number: 2656 Registered: 1-2001 |
Or...guys marry girls who are "just like mom", but don't date this kind of girl when they're in school? | ||
| Balin (Balin)
New member Username: Balin Post Number: 5489 Registered: 4-2010 |
So guys are willing to, or desire to, date one (or more) certain kind(s) of girl, but eventually the kinds of girls they marry aren't at all like the ones they dated? Yes, but the other way round - it's about the kind of guys that girls are willing to date. And I'm looking for something more specific than this - as a HINT: focus more on the dating aspect, and what a girl might say if she doesn't want to date a certain guy. Or...guys marry girls who are "just like mom", but don't date this kind of girl when they're in school? No - see above | ||
| Ixoye724 (Ixoye724)
New member Username: Ixoye724 Post Number: 2658 Registered: 1-2001 |
Guys are more superficial (focus on physical appearance) when they are school age and dating, yet focus more on emotional connections when they are older and seeking to get married? Is the phrase "It's not you, it's me" related? | ||
| Balin (Balin)
New member Username: Balin Post Number: 5492 Registered: 4-2010 |
Guys are more superficial (focus on physical appearance) when they are school age and dating, yet focus more on emotional connections when they are older and seeking to get married? No, and you've still got the genders switched. Is the phrase "It's not you, it's me" related? No, but we are looking for a phrase. | ||
| Ixoye724 (Ixoye724)
New member Username: Ixoye724 Post Number: 2660 Registered: 1-2001 |
Is divorce relevant? Breaking up? | ||
| Balin (Balin)
New member Username: Balin Post Number: 5495 Registered: 4-2010 |
Is divorce relevant? Breaking up? Neither - it's something a girl will tell a guy whom she is not interested in dating, but... | ||
| Ixoye724 (Ixoye724)
New member Username: Ixoye724 Post Number: 2663 Registered: 1-2001 |
She'll tell him that she's seeing someone else (currently dating already)? That she's not allowed to date? That she's getting over a bad breakup? That she "needs space"? | ||
| Balin (Balin)
New member Username: Balin Post Number: 5501 Registered: 4-2010 |
She'll tell him that she's seeing someone else (currently dating already)? That she's not allowed to date? That she's getting over a bad breakup? That she "needs space"? None of these | ||
| Ixoye724 (Ixoye724)
New member Username: Ixoye724 Post Number: 2665 Registered: 1-2001 |
Exchanging phone numbers? Promising "I'll call you"? Being "too young" to date a certain person? Too old? Wanting to "just be friends"? | ||
| Balin (Balin)
New member Username: Balin Post Number: 5505 Registered: 4-2010 |
Exchanging phone numbers? No Promising "I'll call you"? No Being "too young" to date a certain person? Too old? Neither Wanting to "just be friends"? No, but this is sometimes implied in the statement. RECAP: The paradox involves something girls say to guys who they do not want to date, but sometimes want to be just friends with (though that's not really relevant). The statement, in a way, involves marriage. | ||
| Ixoye724 (Ixoye724)
New member Username: Ixoye724 Post Number: 2668 Registered: 1-2001 |
Ah, maybe it's that guys think dating is "just for fun", while girls think it's "for finding a future husband"? Or the other way around? | ||
| Balin (Balin)
New member Username: Balin Post Number: 5510 Registered: 4-2010 |
Ah, maybe it's that guys think dating is "just for fun", while girls think it's "for finding a future husband"? See next answer, but this second statement is SO CLOSE to the actual statement... Or the other way around? Yes... | ||
| Ixoye724 (Ixoye724)
New member Username: Ixoye724 Post Number: 2672 Registered: 1-2001 |
So it's guys who think dating is for finding a girl that they can marry, but girls "just want to have fun"? | ||
| Balin (Balin)
New member Username: Balin Post Number: 5515 Registered: 4-2010 |
So it's guys who think dating is for finding a girl that they can marry, Well, some guys do, and that's what the paradox is about.... but girls "just want to have fun"? At least a good majority do in high school, according to my experience. | ||
| Ixoye724 (Ixoye724)
New member Username: Ixoye724 Post Number: 2676 Registered: 1-2001 |
Is "commitment" involved? Dating only one person at a time? Or not wanting to date at all? | ||
| Balin (Balin)
New member Username: Balin Post Number: 5517 Registered: 4-2010 |
Is "commitment" involved? No Dating only one person at a time? Yope/Noish - not really relevant Or not wanting to date at all? No | ||
| Eli (Eli)
New member Username: Eli Post Number: 1302 Registered: 11-2003 |
Just a shot in the dark, from a female point of view. Would the phrase be something like 'you're too good for me, I wish I could fall for you'? or even 'I would just make you unhappy'? while they're at the same time complaining about 'bad boys' they're dating? | ||
| Balin (Balin)
New member Username: Balin Post Number: 5520 Registered: 4-2010 |
Just a shot in the dark, from a female point of view. A female POV would definitely clear things up a bit.... Would the phrase be something like 'you're too good for me, I wish I could fall for you'? Very close.... or even 'I would just make you unhappy'? Not this while they're at the same time complaining about 'bad boys' they're dating? Well, the girls who say this typically are dating "bad boys," but whether they're complaining about them is irrelevant. | ||
| Eli (Eli)
New member Username: Eli Post Number: 1303 Registered: 11-2003 |
'I don't deserve you'? | ||
| Balin (Balin)
New member Username: Balin Post Number: 5525 Registered: 4-2010 |
'I don't deserve you'? No - remember that the quote involves marriage, in a way. | ||
| Ixoye724 (Ixoye724)
New member Username: Ixoye724 Post Number: 2681 Registered: 1-2001 |
'I couldn't marry someone like you'? | ||
| Balin (Balin)
New member Username: Balin Post Number: 5529 Registered: 4-2010 |
'I couldn't marry someone like you'? No, but closer.... | ||
| Eli (Eli)
New member Username: Eli Post Number: 1304 Registered: 11-2003 |
'I love you to bits, but I don't think I would be able spend the rest of my life with you'? | ||
| Balin (Balin)
New member Username: Balin Post Number: 5536 Registered: 4-2010 |
'I love you to bits, but I don't think I would be able spend the rest of my life with you'? No. HINT: The phrase does not use the word "I". | ||
| Eli (Eli)
New member Username: Eli Post Number: 1305 Registered: 11-2003 |
'You are such a great guy. The woman who gets you, is very lucky'??? | ||
| Balin (Balin)
New member Username: Balin Post Number: 5540 Registered: 4-2010 |
'You are such a great guy. The woman who gets you, is very lucky'??? No, but even closer.... | ||
| Eli (Eli)
New member Username: Eli Post Number: 1306 Registered: 11-2003 |
One more try before bed, lol 'you should be with someone else, someone who can appreciate your all your good qualities better than me' | ||
| Balin (Balin)
New member Username: Balin Post Number: 5550 Registered: 4-2010 |
One more try before bed, lol 'you should be with someone else, someone who can appreciate your all your good qualities better than me' No - the last guess was closer. Sleep well! | ||
| Galfisk (Galfisk)
New member Username: Galfisk Post Number: 3238 Registered: 9-2009 |
does the phrase use the word "me"? "You wouldn't want to marry someone like me"? Although dating in high school rarely leads to marriage anyway, which makes the argument paradoxical? | ||
| Balin (Balin)
New member Username: Balin Post Number: 5556 Registered: 4-2010 |
does the phrase use the word "me"? No "You wouldn't want to marry someone like me"? No Although dating in high school rarely leads to marriage anyway, which makes the argument paradoxical? True, but that's not the paradox. | ||
| Galfisk (Galfisk)
New member Username: Galfisk Post Number: 3243 Registered: 9-2009 |
Is she saying something about: the guy? Herself? Someone else? Equating dating with marrying? | ||
| Balin (Balin)
New member Username: Balin Post Number: 5565 Registered: 4-2010 |
Is she saying something about: the guy? Yes Herself? No Someone else? No Equating dating with marrying? Noish | ||
| Woodworm (Woodworm)
New member Username: Woodworm Post Number: 2029 Registered: 3-2006 |
'Your wife will be such a lucky girl'? 'You'll make someone a lovely husband'? I'm not sure that either of these is a paradox, though. I think it's known in the trade as a lie. On a similar note, I quite like: 'I've waited all my life for a girl like you But none came along, so you'll have to do' :-) | ||
| Balin (Balin)
New member Username: Balin Post Number: 5583 Registered: 4-2010 |
'Your wife will be such a lucky girl'? 'You'll make someone a lovely husband'? This one's close enough: the precise wording is "You'll make a great husband someday." I'm not sure that either of these is a paradox, though. I think it's known in the trade as a lie. Yeah, that sums it up pretty well. On a similar note, I quite like: 'I've waited all my life for a girl like you But none came along, so you'll have to do' :-) Ah, love poetry at its most weightless - I approve. You have the line; now what's the paradox? | ||
| Ixoye724 (Ixoye724)
New member Username: Ixoye724 Post Number: 2693 Registered: 1-2001 |
You'll make a great husband someday...but you won't be my husband - this idea? | ||
| Balin (Balin)
New member Username: Balin Post Number: 5590 Registered: 4-2010 |
You'll make a great husband someday...but you won't be my husband - this idea? Along these lines...but not quite... | ||
| Eli (Eli)
New member Username: Eli Post Number: 1308 Registered: 11-2003 |
'you'll make a great husband someday - for someone else'? | ||
| Balin (Balin)
New member Username: Balin Post Number: 5615 Registered: 4-2010 |
'you'll make a great husband someday - for someone else'? Also very close. HINT: The paradox involves how many girls say "you'll make a great husband someday" to a certain guy. | ||
| Eli (Eli)
New member Username: Eli Post Number: 1309 Registered: 11-2003 |
Is anything else than 'you'll make a great husband someday' actually said? If so, before? or after that sentence? Is what's said positive in tone? or kind of sarcastic? or negative in any other way? | ||
| Balin (Balin)
New member Username: Balin Post Number: 5625 Registered: 4-2010 |
Is anything else than 'you'll make a great husband someday' actually said? No - good question. If so, before? or after that sentence? Is what's said positive in tone? Irrel - assume this. or kind of sarcastic? or negative in any other way? | ||
| Eli (Eli)
New member Username: Eli Post Number: 1315 Registered: 11-2003 |
Is something else happening at the same time as this is said? | ||
| Balin (Balin)
New member Username: Balin Post Number: 5636 Registered: 4-2010 |
Is something else happening at the same time as this is said? No, FA. Look at my last hint again. | ||
| Gregoryuconn (Gregoryuconn)
New member Username: Gregoryuconn Post Number: 10 Registered: 9-2010 |
so the guy is going out with a lot of girls, all of whom say it? So in other words, he's potentially unfaithful which would NOT make him a good husband? | ||
| Balin (Balin)
New member Username: Balin Post Number: 5645 Registered: 4-2010 |
so the guy is going out with a lot of girls, all of whom say it? No, the opposite... So in other words, he's potentially unfaithful which would NOT make him a good husband? ...but this is the right idea, so... **********SPOILER********** Over my high school years, quite a few girls said to me, "You'll make a great husband someday," but to this day, I have never been on a date. Contrasting that with the guys who dated a ton of girls, I came up with the paradox: "The more girls tell a guy that he'll make a great husband someday (but refuse to date him), the less chance he has of becoming one." Thinking about this, however, the paradox may be more of a bell curve than a straight-up inverse. But the general idea still remains. Excellent job, everyone, especially all of you who asked questions (Ixoye, Galfisk, Eli, Woodworm, Kaylee, Potato), and Gregoryuconn, who got the final bit. | ||
| Kayleetonkslupin (Kayleetonkslupin)
New member Username: Kayleetonkslupin Post Number: 336 Registered: 9-2010 |
Awww, Balin! I have had exactly two boyfriends, one who I broke up with because he was an immature pain in the you know where (I'd been set up with him by our high school's self-appointed 'matchmaker' because the boy I actually /wanted/ to date had a girlfriend, and my boyfriend had a string of admirers, who all eventually called me 'Hey, Ramon's girlfriend'...grr...) and he encouraged it. My second boyfriend was the son of our college's dance teacher and we had PE together. he was nice enough, but he decided he didn't like kissing me and then he broke up with me, telling me I had 'no right to be upset'. I was barely 20 and now, five years later, I haven't had a date since. Meh. I suppose dating's not everything. But *I* think you're very nice, Balin. :-) | ||
| Balin (Balin)
New member Username: Balin Post Number: 5657 Registered: 4-2010 |
Thanks =) And sorry to hear about your bad luck in relationships =( Although admittedly, the problem may be partially my fault. I have a real fear of rejection, so I never even asked anyone out until about a week or so ago (I got turned down...drat). Although there were a few girls in high school whom I liked, but wouldn't say anything to because of that fear. Not like it mattered - they figured out how I felt and gave me the "I just want to be friends" talk, which I can probably recite in my sleep now. Oh well, in time.... | ||
| Balin (Balin)
New member Username: Balin Post Number: 6302 Registered: 4-2010 |
UPDATE: The two guys I've mentioned this to agree with it, while the two girls whom I have discussed this with disagree. So I'm thinking the paradox may only apply through high school, but only time will tell.... |
