| Author | Message | ||
| Rbruma (Rbruma)
New member Username: Rbruma Post Number: 2228 Registered: 9-2009 |
Some time ago, I was beaten (lightly) for saying the right thing. This hurt me a lot, but also helped me lot. Since that time, I never received that punishment What has happened? I = yours truly | ||
| Doriana (Doriana)
New member Username: Doriana Post Number: 2975 Registered: 12-2010 |
"beaten" as in physically hit? with a hand? with an object? Relevant who beat you? H/A/M? F? one person? more than one? a friend of yours? acquaintance? family member? co-worker? boss? stranger? Were other people present? Did saying the right thing offend someone? the person that beat you? Were you supposed not to say it? | ||
| Rbruma (Rbruma)
New member Username: Rbruma Post Number: 2231 Registered: 9-2009 |
"beaten" as in physically hit? Yes with a hand? Yes with an object? No Relevant who beat you? Yes H/A/M? F? H/A/F one person? Yes more than one? a friend of yours? acquaintance? family member? This one co-worker? boss? stranger? Were other people present? No, as I recall Did saying the right thing offend someone? the person that beat you? She said that that was the case Were you supposed not to say it? I didn't know it at the moment | ||
| Doriana (Doriana)
New member Username: Doriana Post Number: 2977 Registered: 12-2010 |
Is she your mother? aunt? sister? wife? one of your wife's relatives? niece? cousin? (you don't have a daughter, do you?) Was the thing you said an answer to a question? A question? A remark? Did it imply something about her that she thought was wrong? (e.g. that she is fat... *women* ) | ||
| Rbruma (Rbruma)
New member Username: Rbruma Post Number: 2232 Registered: 9-2009 |
Is she your mother? aunt? sister? wife? one of your wife's relatives? niece? cousin? (you don't have a daughter, do you? No, I don't) No to all Was the thing you said an answer to a question? This one A question? A remark? Did it imply something about her that she thought was wrong? Yesish (e.g. that she is fat... *women* But not this kind of things ) | ||
| Doriana (Doriana)
New member Username: Doriana Post Number: 2980 Registered: 12-2010 |
Hmm... what other female family members are there... Grandmother? Great-aunt? Is she from your generation? one generation older? two generations older? one generation younger? Was the question related to you? to her? to the circumstances (e.g. "What's the time?")? did she ask you to do something? | ||
| Rbruma (Rbruma)
New member Username: Rbruma Post Number: 2234 Registered: 9-2009 |
Hmm... what other female family members are there... Grandmother? This one Great-aunt? Is she from your generation? one generation older? two generations older? one generation younger? Was the question related to you? Yope to Yesish to her? No to the circumstances (e.g. "What's the time?")? did she ask you to do something? No. Yope as to the circumstances, but not in the way you suggested. Explore As a HINT: Think simpler. I have a complicated mind anyway : - ) | ||
| Balin (Balin)
New member Username: Balin Post Number: 17973 Registered: 4-2010 |
Was she the one who asked the question? Was anyone else present at the time? Was the question related to a person other than you? | ||
| Rbruma (Rbruma)
New member Username: Rbruma Post Number: 2235 Registered: 9-2009 |
Was she the one who asked the question? No Was anyone else present at the time? At the time of asking the question, yes. At the time of the "beating", no Was the question related to a person other than you? To both of us - me and another person | ||
| Shez (Shez)
New member Username: Shez Post Number: 3586 Registered: 2-2011 |
did you ask the question? did it embarass her? | ||
| Rbruma (Rbruma)
New member Username: Rbruma Post Number: 2237 Registered: 9-2009 |
did you ask the question? did it embarass her? No, I provided an answer that embarassed her | ||
| Redwine (Redwine)
New member Username: Redwine Post Number: 1661 Registered: 1-2011 |
Did someone ask you why you did something? | ||
| Rbruma (Rbruma)
New member Username: Rbruma Post Number: 2240 Registered: 9-2009 |
Did someone ask you why you did something? No | ||
| Deholmes (Deholmes)
New member Username: Deholmes Post Number: 8 Registered: 11-2012 |
Did you announce a situation in her life such as pregnancy? | ||
| Sundowner (Sundowner)
New member Username: Sundowner Post Number: 1193 Registered: 6-2003 |
Was the person who asked the question a relative of you? brother? sister? fiancee? wife? male? female? Was the question related to you and the person who asked the question? Was the question asked to you? to your grandmother? to someone else? to no-one specifically? Was it a rhetorical question? Were other people (besides you, your grandmother and the person who asked the question) present when the question was asked? when you answered? Did you "say the right thing" as in telling the truth? giving an answer that was appropriate to the situation? using appropriate words? Would there have been another answer that was less embarassing but equally true? Was your answer embarassing also to other people? Did you want to embarass your grandmother? Would it have been less embarassing if you had not answered at all? | ||
| Rbruma (Rbruma)
New member Username: Rbruma Post Number: 2242 Registered: 9-2009 |
Did you announce a situation in her life such as pregnancy? No, OTWT Was the person who asked the question a relative of you? brother? sister? fiancee? wife? male? female? No, a perfect stranger, but probably known by my grandmother Was the question related to you and the person who asked the question? No, good q! Was the question asked to you? to your grandmother? to someone else? to no-one specifically? It was asked to me Was it a rhetorical question? No Were other people (besides you, your grandmother and the person who asked the question) present when the question was asked? when you answered? Yes to both Did you "say the right thing" as in telling the truth? This one, yes giving an answer that was appropriate to the situation? It seems not, although, after many years, I would do the same using appropriate words? Yes Would there have been another answer that was less embarassing but equally true? No Was your answer embarassing also to other people? No Did you want to embarass your grandmother? Not at all Would it have been less embarassing if you had not answered at all? I had no option for not responding. But probably, if I did not respond, it would have been even worse. | ||
| Shez (Shez)
New member Username: Shez Post Number: 3589 Registered: 2-2011 |
were you asked the question by some sort of official? a policeman? | ||
| Rbruma (Rbruma)
New member Username: Rbruma Post Number: 2244 Registered: 9-2009 |
were you asked the question by some sort of official? a policeman? No. I was asked by a neighbour of my grandmother - I don't recall if he was a "he" or a "she", but irrelevant anyway | ||
| Vene (Vene)
New member Username: Vene Post Number: 100 Registered: 9-2008 |
Is religion/faith involved? Culture-specific things? Does your age at the time matter? | ||
| Shez (Shez)
New member Username: Shez Post Number: 3591 Registered: 2-2011 |
did you give away some family secret? or just give too much information? | ||
| Rbruma (Rbruma)
New member Username: Rbruma Post Number: 2245 Registered: 9-2009 |
Is religion/faith involved? Culture-specific things? Does your age at the time matter? Only in the sense that I was...umm . naive, let'say. The others are a no did you give away some family secret? Yesishor just give too much information? Yesish to this, also | ||
| Balin (Balin)
New member Username: Balin Post Number: 17977 Registered: 4-2010 |
Hmm... was the family trying to be discreet about something? A pregnancy? Illness? And your naïve self blurted it out? | ||
| Vene (Vene)
New member Username: Vene Post Number: 103 Registered: 9-2008 |
You point out that you never received the punishment again. By this you mean you never said such hurtful truths? Implying you were put in similar situations? So the question did not regard you or your grandmother, but the answer (indirectly?) revealed something about: her? you? another member of your family? someone else? Was it embarrassing because the person asking the question learned the 'secret', or because some/all of the other people present learned it? | ||
| Rbruma (Rbruma)
New member Username: Rbruma Post Number: 2246 Registered: 9-2009 |
You point out that you never received the punishment again. By this you mean you never said such hurtful truths? Yope Implying you were put in similar situations? Yes -- not identical, however So the question did not regard you It was about a situation of which I was a part or your grandmother No, but the answer (indirectly? Yes) revealed something about: her? Yesish, or at least she thought so you? No another member of your family? Yes! someone else? No Was it embarrassing because the person asking the question learned the 'secret', or because some/all of the other people present learned it? I think all (or most of) the people knew or suspected the 'secret', I was just providing a public confirmation, to my grandmother's embarassment | ||
| Vene (Vene)
New member Username: Vene Post Number: 112 Registered: 9-2008 |
I think you missed Balin's questions above. The other member: Your grandfather? Your mum? Your dad? | ||
| Rbruma (Rbruma)
New member Username: Rbruma Post Number: 2247 Registered: 9-2009 |
I think you missed Balin's questions above. I did, thank you and I apologize Hmm... was the family trying to be discreet about something? Yes A pregnancy? Illness? None of these And your naïve self blurted it out? Yep The other member: Your grandfather? Your mum? Your dad? This one Coming to a solve now... | ||
| Balin (Balin)
New member Username: Balin Post Number: 17987 Registered: 4-2010 |
HIs age? Job situation? | ||
| Rbruma (Rbruma)
New member Username: Rbruma Post Number: 2248 Registered: 9-2009 |
HIs age? Job situation? No to both | ||
| Deholmes (Deholmes)
New member Username: Deholmes Post Number: 42 Registered: 11-2012 |
Was it a wedding? | ||
| Rbruma (Rbruma)
New member Username: Rbruma Post Number: 2254 Registered: 9-2009 |
Was it a wedding? No HINT: The "family secret" involved only me and my father. | ||
| Enjay (Enjay)
New member Username: Enjay Post Number: 1899 Registered: 4-2007 |
Are you and your father not related by blood? | ||
| Rbruma (Rbruma)
New member Username: Rbruma Post Number: 2255 Registered: 9-2009 |
Are you and your father not related by blood? No, we are. The 'secret' is really a stupid thing - and it was not a secret for anybody, but it proved me how small communities work | ||
| Deholmes (Deholmes)
New member Username: Deholmes Post Number: 54 Registered: 11-2012 |
In your home is it only you and your father? other siblings, mother, gparents? | ||
| Deholmes (Deholmes)
New member Username: Deholmes Post Number: 55 Registered: 11-2012 |
Was the beating light because your father saw humor in you blurting it out? | ||
| Deholmes (Deholmes)
New member Username: Deholmes Post Number: 56 Registered: 11-2012 |
Was the beating light because your father saw humor in you blurting it out? | ||
| Rbruma (Rbruma)
New member Username: Rbruma Post Number: 2258 Registered: 9-2009 |
In your home is it only you and your father? No there were others -- irrel who they were other siblings, mother, gparents? Was the beating light because your father saw humor in you blurting it out? No, I don't think my father even knows about the incident - it was a very small one, happened more than 25 years ago (probably many of those present are dead now), but it was of interest to me, for a particular reason | ||
| Vene (Vene)
New member Username: Vene Post Number: 130 Registered: 9-2008 |
Does it involve social status? Wealth? School? | ||
| Rbruma (Rbruma)
New member Username: Rbruma Post Number: 2268 Registered: 9-2009 |
Does it involve social status? Yope to Yessish Wealth? School? No to the rest | ||
| Noel (Noel)
New member Username: Noel Post Number: 3334 Registered: 7-2009 |
Was your father a politician/elected official? Did he hold a prominent position in society? If no to the previous two questions, did he/your grandmother wish it to appear that he held a prominent position? | ||
| Rbruma (Rbruma)
New member Username: Rbruma Post Number: 2273 Registered: 9-2009 |
Was your father a politician/elected official? No Did he hold a prominent position in society? No If no to the previous two questions, did he No /your grandmother wish it to appear that he held a prominent position? Noish, but OTRT. The 'position' was more related to me | ||
| Redwine (Redwine)
New member Username: Redwine Post Number: 1668 Registered: 1-2011 |
Was the question something like questions commonly asked to children, like about future job? Did the neighbour asked directly about you and your father? | ||
| Rbruma (Rbruma)
New member Username: Rbruma Post Number: 2276 Registered: 9-2009 |
Was the question something like questions commonly asked to children, like about future job? No Did the neighbour asked directly about you and your father? YES! | ||
| Redwine (Redwine)
New member Username: Redwine Post Number: 1671 Registered: 1-2011 |
Did the neighbour ask directly about the secret? Did the neighbour ask about your feelings towards your father? About your resemblance to your father? | ||
| Rbruma (Rbruma)
New member Username: Rbruma Post Number: 2279 Registered: 9-2009 |
Did the neighbour ask directly about the secret? {Yope to Yessish} Did the neighbour ask about your feelings towards your father? No, or at least not directly About your resemblance to your father?No I think we are close enough on this track here, he asked me if my father visits me often. The only remaining thing is to establish what did I answer and why the subsequent 'beating' -- related to my answer -- hurt me a lot for the moment, but also helped me a lot in the long run | ||
| Redwine (Redwine)
New member Username: Redwine Post Number: 1677 Registered: 1-2011 |
Did your answer admit that your father didn't live with you in the same house? Is the problem in the fact that the question implied that the didn't live with you in the same house? Was your answer along the lines of "everyday" or "twice a week" (simply telling the frequency) or rather "as often as..." (referring to other events in your life)? | ||
| Rbruma (Rbruma)
New member Username: Rbruma Post Number: 2282 Registered: 9-2009 |
Did your answer admit that your father didn't live with you in the same house? Is the problem in the fact that the question implied that the didn't live with you in the same house? No, that was no secret, my parents were divorced Was your answer along the lines of "everyday" or "twice a week" (simply telling the frequency) This one or rather "as often as..." (referring to other events in your life)? So, no | ||
| Noel (Noel)
New member Username: Noel Post Number: 3339 Registered: 7-2009 |
Do we need to figure out the frequency? If so, daily? weekly? monthly? a few times a year? yearly? never? | ||
| Solo1 (Solo1)
New member Username: Solo1 Post Number: 404 Registered: 5-2012 |
Did your answer imply something about your mother? Something not too nice? | ||
| Rbruma (Rbruma)
New member Username: Rbruma Post Number: 2286 Registered: 9-2009 |
Do we need to figure out the frequency? No If so, daily? weekly? monthly? a few times a year? But this was the answer - and it was correct - HINTyearly? never? Did your answer imply something about your mother? Something not too nice? Not this kind of thing. We are almost there. | ||
| Redwine (Redwine)
New member Username: Redwine Post Number: 1689 Registered: 1-2011 |
If you had answered with any other frequency (if it was correct), would it still have provoked similar reaction of your grandma? Did your grandma expect you to lie about the frequency? to use another words? Did you tell anything more than simply indicate frequency? | ||
| Rbruma (Rbruma)
New member Username: Rbruma Post Number: 2288 Registered: 9-2009 |
If you had answered with any other frequency (if it was correct), would it still have provoked similar reaction of your grandma? Did your grandma expect you to lie about the frequency? BINGO!to use another words? Did you tell anything more than simply indicate frequency? ******* SPOILER ******* This happened a long time ago -- what I know for sure is that it took place before 1986. My parents were divorced, I was living with my mother, and my father visited me for a few hours once or twice a year, which didn't bothered me at all. This way of doing things never changed to the present day, given the fact that we saw each other twice in the last 26 years. However, in that small, tight community that my grandmother was living in, this thing was considered a shame, something that my grandmother wasn't willing to accept. So after the gathering was over, I was taken home and slapped on the face for the fact that I answered truthfully. The comment was "That should teach you a lesson in the future not to tell the truth in such situations!" That comment changed completely my system of social values, since up to that time everyone had been telling me that I should always tell the truth. Sure enough, I learned my lesson, and have never been punished again for telling the truth : - ) Whenever I feel an urge to tell the truth, that palm received ~30 years ago reminds me of the consequences. Thanks to all who participated and especially to Redwine for the final solve |
