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Lateral Puzzles » Solved Lateral Thinking Puzzles » Solved Puzzles - Jan 2005 » {Eliot} If you turned my name backwards...and added a 't' on the end...oh dear. » Archive through January 03, 2005 « Previous Next »

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Eliot (Eliot)
Posted on Saturday, January 01, 2005 - 10:30 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Hey, good-looking. Why yes, I am interested in maximizing my revenue...oh never mind. This is too ridiculous.
Rather absurd little quickie.
L. Jacobs (Tweek)
Posted on Sunday, January 02, 2005 - 2:04 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Let us go then, to the john,
Where the toilet seat waits to be sat upon
Like a lover's lap perched upon ceramic;
Let us go, through doors that do not always lock,
Which means you ought to knock
Lest opening one reveal a soul within
Who'll shout, "Stay out! Did you not see my shin,
Framed within the gap twixt floor and stall?"
No, I did not see that at all.
That is not what I saw, at all.

To the stall the people come to go,
Reading an obscene graffito.

We have lingered in the chamber labeled "Men"
Till attendants proffer aftershave and mints
As we lather up our hands with soap, and rinse.

- Toilets, by T. S. Eliot; www.modernhumorist.com


There are two parties involved?
Two people?
The speaker - male or female? The audience - male or female?
'Revenue' - is this even the primary subject?
Is this some sort of messed up roleplaying?
Is it a phone call? Face-to-face? Telemarketing?

Is the speaker's employment relevant? Is s/he self-employed? Does s/he think that the audience can maximize his/her revenue?

Is this ridiculous? If so, is it ridiculous because the actual subject at hand has nothing to do with business?
David Burn (Woubit)
Posted on Sunday, January 02, 2005 - 4:18 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

T. Eliot, top bard, notes putrid tang emanating, is sad. I'd assign it a name: gnat dirt upset on drab pot-toilet.

Palindrome attributed to W H Auden


Is the puzzle statement a dialogue? a monologue?
Eliot (Eliot)
Posted on Sunday, January 02, 2005 - 5:05 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

By L. Jacobs (Tweek) on Sunday, January 02, 2005 - 02:04 am:
Funny, I don't remember writing that particular poem. Some other Eliot I suppose.:)

There are two parties involved? Vaguely.
Two people? Not directly.
The speaker - male or female? It's me, so...whatever it says in my look-up. Irrel. The audience - male or female? Neither.
'Revenue' - is this even the primary subject? No.
Is this some sort of messed up roleplaying? No.
Is it a phone call? Face-to-face? Telemarketing? None of these.

Is the speaker's employment relevant? No.Is s/he self-employed? Does s/he think that the audience can maximize his/her revenue? All irrelevant.

Is this ridiculous? The puzzle? Yes, very much so. The actual statement is also ridiculous, yes. If so, is it ridiculous because the actual subject at hand has nothing to do with business? Not exactly.

By David Burn (Woubit) on Sunday, January 02, 2005 - 04:18 am:


T. Eliot, top bard, notes putrid tang emanating, is sad. I'd assign it a name: gnat dirt upset on drab pot-toilet. Beautiful...haiku(?)

Palindrome attributed to W H Auden Oh! I see. More laughs at Eliot's expense. Maybe I'll just start answering questions randomly. :) JK.

Is the puzzle statement a dialogue? a monologue? This. It's addressed to someone-ish, but no one's ever going to reply.
L. Jacobs (Tweek)
Posted on Sunday, January 02, 2005 - 5:36 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Funny, I don't remember writing that particular poem. Some other Eliot I suppose. - It's just a parody of T. S. Eliot's famous poem, "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock"; it's on the Modern Humorist page entitled, "If Poets Wrote Poems With Anagrams Of Their Names As Titles", along with "Skinny Dormicile" by Emily Dickinson and "Nice Smug Me" by e e cummings. - Oh, and Auden's clever palindrome works, for those who are skeptical.

Are you talking to the wall, then? A poster?

Is this close: A man sees a flyer advertising something completely different than the flyer depicts, or an ad, or something, and thinks it ridiculous.
David Burn (Woubit)
Posted on Sunday, January 02, 2005 - 10:43 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

"Attributed to W H Auden" usually means "it would be nice if Auden had written it, but he probably didn't". He did, however, write:

T S Eliot is quite at a loss
When ladies who shuffle across
At literary teas
Ask him "What, if you please,
Did you mean by The Mill on the Floss?"


Are you reading something at the time you make this statement?
Eliot (Eliot)
Posted on Sunday, January 02, 2005 - 1:44 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

By L. Jacobs (Tweek) on Sunday, January 02, 2005 - 05:36 am:

Ah.

Are you talking to the wall, then? No.A poster? No. But closer.

Is this close: A man sees a flyer advertising something completely different than the flyer depicts, or an ad, or something, and thinks it ridiculous. No. But there is an ad involved.

By David Burn (Woubit) on Sunday, January 02, 2005 - 10:43 am:

T S Eliot is quite at a loss
When ladies who shuffle across
At literary teas
Ask him "What, if you please,
Did you mean by The Mill on the Floss?" He's right, I am at a loss.

Am I allowed to disenchant you now? I'm actually named after John Eliot. Any clever riddles about him?


Are you reading something at the time you make this statement? no, but near the time I make the statement.
L. Jacobs (Tweek)
Posted on Sunday, January 02, 2005 - 8:46 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Is it even important what the ad is advertising?

TV? Radio? Flyer? Billiboard? Well-known?
Eliot (Eliot)
Posted on Sunday, January 02, 2005 - 10:38 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

By L. Jacobs (Tweek) on Sunday, January 02, 2005 - 08:46 pm:


Is it even important what the ad is advertising? No, though it might provide a hint.

TV? Radio? Flyer? Billiboard? none of these.Well-known? No, but you've probably seen it before.
David Burn (Woubit)
Posted on Sunday, January 02, 2005 - 11:08 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

While we're on the subject:

Higgledy piggledy
Thomas Stearns Eliot
Wrote a whole poem to
Carry one word.
What was it, now? Poly-
philoprogenitive?
I do not like it. I
think it absurd.


Are you being invited to maximize your revenue? By conducting business of some kind?
Eliot (Eliot)
Posted on Sunday, January 02, 2005 - 11:30 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

By David Burn (Woubit) on Sunday, January 02, 2005 - 11:08 pm:


While we're on the subject:

Higgledy piggledy
Thomas Stearns Eliot
Wrote a whole poem to
Carry one word.
What was it, now? Poly-
philoprogenitive?
I do not like it. I
think it absurd. :) Dactyl-riffic.

Are you being invited to maximize your revenue? Yes I am. By conducting business of some kind? Yes.
David Burn (Woubit)
Posted on Sunday, January 02, 2005 - 11:32 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Is this some internet scam?
David Burn (Woubit)
Posted on Sunday, January 02, 2005 - 11:47 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

And perhaps this may help with "The Mill on the Floss":

Higgledy piggledy
Mary Ann Evans, when
Forced by misogynist
Pressures to forge,
Looked for a pen-name with
Marketability -
Hit on the obvious
Slogan "Buy George!"
Eliot (Eliot)
Posted on Monday, January 03, 2005 - 12:07 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

By David Burn (Woubit) on Sunday, January 02, 2005 - 11:32 pm:


Is this some internet scam? Internet? Yes. Scam? Don't know.

By David Burn (Woubit) on Sunday, January 02, 2005 - 11:47 pm:


And perhaps this may help with "The Mill on the Floss":

Higgledy piggledy
Mary Ann Evans, when
Forced by misogynist
Pressures to forge,
Looked for a pen-name with
Marketability -
Hit on the obvious
Slogan "Buy George!" Also named after her. Also named after Charles William Eliot. Not T.S. though.
Shawn Franchi (Doctapeppa)
Posted on Monday, January 03, 2005 - 12:16 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Is the title relevant?
Eliot (Eliot)
Posted on Monday, January 03, 2005 - 12:29 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

By Shawn Franchi (Doctapeppa) on Monday, January 03, 2005 - 12:16 am:


Is the title relevant? No. Not in the least. The fact that we've been talking more about my name than the actual puzzle is just absentmindedness. Let's blame it on...oh, how about Woubit.
Shawn Franchi (Doctapeppa)
Posted on Monday, January 03, 2005 - 12:35 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Were you talking to an internet ad? A banner ad? pop-up? pop-under?
Eliot (Eliot)
Posted on Monday, January 03, 2005 - 12:53 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

By Shawn Franchi (Doctapeppa) on Monday, January 03, 2005 - 12:35 am:


Were you talking to an internet ad? Yes. I was. Sigh.A banner ad? Yes.pop-up? pop-under? Neither of these.
Shawn Franchi (Doctapeppa)
Posted on Monday, January 03, 2005 - 12:56 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Was the banner ad about ValueClick? About winning a PS2? About maximizing your revenue? Was there a specific target audience? Were you in the target audience?
Eliot (Eliot)
Posted on Monday, January 03, 2005 - 1:07 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

By Shawn Franchi (Doctapeppa) on Monday, January 03, 2005 - 12:56 am:


Was the banner ad about ValueClick? YES.About winning a PS2? No. About maximizing your revenue? YES.Was there a specific target audience? Irrel. Were you in the target audience? Irrel.
Shawn Franchi (Doctapeppa)
Posted on Monday, January 03, 2005 - 1:11 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Am I anywhere near solving this puzzle?
Eliot (Eliot)
Posted on Monday, January 03, 2005 - 1:34 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

By Shawn Franchi (Doctapeppa) on Monday, January 03, 2005 - 01:11 am:


Am I anywhere near solving this puzzle? You seem to be.