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Simon Downham (Beroean)
Posted on Wednesday, December 28, 2005 - 5:06 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Please could get up into the hayloft and do a thorough search to see what you can find up there.
Any courting couples?
Any birds nests?
Anything at all apart from the straw and pitchfork?

Now, who could we jab with the pitchfork.
Come to think of it, you could move some of the straw with the fork to check for any hidden items.
David Burn (Woubit)
Posted on Wednesday, December 28, 2005 - 5:25 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

By Tommy Petersson (Tommyp) on Wednesday, December 28, 2005 - 04:39 pm:

"You're in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike" - yet another puzzle... I think that the vicious dwarf and the maze of twisty little passages are both from the same puzzle, the one that began it all.

Also googled before and found that Henri de Bylandt, but had no idea about what to present to the guard for acceptance so I "forever held my silence" - well, almost a day... No need to be shy - anything you can find may be helpful :)

The most disturbing is that "all this" probably and seemingly comes from some literature several people here knows of, and I don't... I have tried to keep literature out of this puzzle as far as I can (apart, of course, from the song on which it is based, but I'm not sure I'd call that "literature").Thought for a while it could be Henri Duke of Guise and the two Henri III, one of whom became Henri IV, but didn't get any of that to fit into this puzzle... It could indeed have been those. Any thoughts you have, however preposterous, may be the solution :)

There's a hole in my bucket dear liza dear liza
There's a hole in my bucket dear liza a hole.
Then mend it dear henry dear henry... Well, we may yet have to mend the hole.


On that theme, a bottle of Bourbon would be more useful, but it seems as mentioned totally the wrong track. I'll give you a clue. We won't need any more Henris to get out of this barn.

So, when you stand on the ladder and look through the hole in the barn ceiling - you don't see outside but rather (only) up to the hayloft? I can climb the ladder and get through a hole in what I would describe as the ceiling of the barn, which is also the floor of the hayloft. Apologies for any confusion.

By Simon Downham (Beroean) on Wednesday, December 28, 2005 - 05:06 pm:

Please could get up into the hayloft and do a thorough search to see what you can find up there. I have done so. There seems to be an awful lot of hay and straw. There is also a pitchfork.
Any courting couples? No
Any birds nests? No
Anything at all apart from the straw and pitchfork? not as far as I can tell,

Now, who could we jab with the pitchfork? It would seem a shame to use it on Daisy or Diego. And I really do not think it would be wise to use it on any of the doorkeepers.
Come to think of it, you could move some of the straw with the fork to check for any hidden items. I have been tossing straw around for the last half hour (after all, I have always been something of a tosser). All that has come to light is more straw.
Simon Downham (Beroean)
Posted on Wednesday, December 28, 2005 - 5:27 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Regarding the wheel are you saying that we need to keep this whole rather than make separate use of say, the wheel, bobbin and spindle, for example?

Tommy your recollection of the song is very useful - it's recommends to us the method for repair!

David, can you mend the bucket with some straw (which you can cut with our [sharp] cheese knife)?
David Burn (Woubit)
Posted on Wednesday, December 28, 2005 - 5:36 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

By Simon Downham (Beroean) on Wednesday, December 28, 2005 - 05:27 pm:

Regarding the wheel are you saying that we need to keep this whole rather than make separate use of say, the wheel, bobbin and spindle, for example? Not to put too fine a point upon it, yes.

Tommy your recollection of the song is very useful - it recommends to us the method for repair!

David, can you mend the bucket with some straw (which you can cut with our [sharp] cheese knife)? Of course not. No one could actually mend a bucket with straw - that only happens in songs :)
Simon Downham (Beroean)
Posted on Wednesday, December 28, 2005 - 6:08 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

To mend the bucket, could you patch up the hole with a piece of wellington boot?

Is there anything written on the boots?
Is there anything stuck under the soles of the boots?
Anything inside of the boots?
Simon Downham (Beroean)
Posted on Wednesday, December 28, 2005 - 6:10 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Perhaps a better idea - could you mend the hole by covering with the Windows XP disk and sealing with one of the cheeses?
Simon Downham (Beroean)
Posted on Wednesday, December 28, 2005 - 6:16 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

David, I think the suit of armour is about your size. Please could you dress up in the armour.

I suspect that you could approach daisy (as she won't recognise you in the armour) and milk her okay. Of course, you will need the bucket and the stool to do the job properly.
Simon Downham (Beroean)
Posted on Wednesday, December 28, 2005 - 6:17 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

If the cheeses are not sufficient to seal the disk to the bucket with, I reckon you could get some cement from some of those shellfish in the aquarium - especially if there are any barnacles.
Simon Downham (Beroean)
Posted on Wednesday, December 28, 2005 - 6:19 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

.. or maybe some monosodium glutemate from the left overs of the chinese meals.
Simon Downham (Beroean)
Posted on Wednesday, December 28, 2005 - 6:22 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Maybe you don't need the armour but (with or without it) you will need to wear the boots.

Anyway, I am becoming more and more convinced that she needs milking!
Simon Downham (Beroean)
Posted on Wednesday, December 28, 2005 - 6:26 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Hang on a minute, hang on a minute, we haven't fed Daisy yet!
David, get straight up that ladder and using the pitchfork, bundle plenty of that straw down and get Daisy over here to have a feed!
Please make sure that she has her fill!
David Burn (Woubit)
Posted on Wednesday, December 28, 2005 - 6:31 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

By Simon Downham (Beroean) on Wednesday, December 28, 2005 - 06:08 pm:

To mend the bucket, could you patch up the hole with a piece of wellington boot? I could try, but cutting a perfectly round piece of Wellington boot to fit into the bottom of the bucket is not going to be easy.

Is there anything written on the boots? No
Is there anything stuck under the soles of the boots? No
Anything inside of the boots? No

By Simon Downham (Beroean) on Wednesday, December 28, 2005 - 06:10 pm:

Perhaps a better idea - could you mend the hole by covering with the Windows XP disk and sealing with one of the cheeses? Now, that really is an idea :) The Windows XP disk fits neatly into the bottom of the bucket. Of course, there is a small hole in the middle of the disk, but I should be able to plug that with some of the Camembert... We now have an entirely serviceable bucket, though quite what we are going to do with it, I am not sure.

By Simon Downham (Beroean) on Wednesday, December 28, 2005 - 06:16 pm:

David, I think the suit of armour is about your size. Please could you dress up in the armour. I have done so. It is fairly uncomfortable, but I can just about manage to walk around in the thing.

I suspect that you could approach daisy (as she won't recognise you in the armour) and milk her okay. Have you ever tried milking a cow wearing a pair of steel gauntlets? If not, imagine what it might be like to be a cow being milked by someone wearing a pair of steel gauntlets. Of course, you will need the bucket and the stool to do the job properly. I will need a little more than that. When Daisy sees me approach wearing a suit of armour, she reacts pretty much as you would react if you were suddenly confronted by a Cyberman. She takes off for the far side of the barn at an impressive clip, and there is absolutely no way I can catch up with her in this blasted armour.

By Simon Downham (Beroean) on Wednesday, December 28, 2005 - 06:17 pm:

If the cheeses are not sufficient to seal the disk to the bucket with, I reckon you could get some cement from some of those shellfish in the aquarium - especially if there are any barnacles. The cheese and the Windows XP disk have done the job just fine.

By Simon Downham (Beroean) on Wednesday, December 28, 2005 - 06:19 pm:

.. or maybe some monosodium glutamate from the left overs of the Chinese meals I am sure that the Special Fried Grass and the Sweet and Sour Sage Derby contained no additives of any kind. Daisy and Diego appear to me creatures of taste and discernment, and they would never have eaten adulterated food.
Simon Downham (Beroean)
Posted on Wednesday, December 28, 2005 - 6:33 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

David, please see other posts.
feed Daisy.
To milk Daisy, you need to wear the boots and take the bucket.
David Burn (Woubit)
Posted on Wednesday, December 28, 2005 - 6:35 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

By Simon Downham (Beroean) on Wednesday, December 28, 2005 - 06:22 pm:

Maybe you don't need the armour but (with or without it) you will need to wear the boots. Possibly.

Anyway, I am becoming more and more convinced that she needs milking! We shall see...

By Simon Downham (Beroean) on Wednesday, December 28, 2005 - 06:26 pm:


Hang on a minute, hang on a minute, we haven't fed Daisy yet! Well, we have fed her the Special Fried Grass. But you know how it is - twenty minutes after you've eaten a Chinese meal, you feel hungry again.
David, get straight up that ladder and using the pitchfork, bundle plenty of that straw down and get Daisy over here to have a feed!
Please make sure that she has her fill! I have done as you suggest. Daisy is contendedly munching away.

In the meantime, there is still a vicious little dwarf in the room with me. He has picked up his axe and thrown it at me with rather greater accuracy this time.

A good thing I am wearing this suit of armour, for the axe bounces harmlessly off the breastplate and lands at my feet.
David Burn (Woubit)
Posted on Wednesday, December 28, 2005 - 6:37 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

By Simon Downham (Beroean) on Wednesday, December 28, 2005 - 06:33 pm:

David, please see other posts. I think I've answered everything, but I will check.
feed Daisy. That is in progress.
To milk Daisy, you need to wear the boots and take the bucket. I will also need a time machine. It takes a while for even as efficient a cow as Daisy to turn hay into milk. A few hours at least, would be my guess.
Ostap Bender (Ostap)
Posted on Wednesday, December 28, 2005 - 6:49 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Keep the axe and throw the dwarf into the woolsack. Leash it firmly.
Then milk Daisy.
Get some rennet to make the milk curdle. (you might have to ask Daisy ...)
Alternatively, use the vinegar that usually comes with a Chinese meal.
David Burn (Woubit)
Posted on Wednesday, December 28, 2005 - 6:58 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

By Ostap Bender (Ostap) on Wednesday, December 28, 2005 - 06:49 pm:

Keep the axe I have done so and throw the dwarf into the woolsack. As I approach the dwarf, looking really quite menacing in my suit of armour with an axe in my hand, he begins to speak.

"Please", he says piteously, "don't put me in a sack! I didn't want to throw axes at you, really I didn't, but I just felt... well, kind of programmed to do so, if you see what I mean. Now I haven't got an axe any more, I don't have to be a vicious dwarf. I'm sure I could help you. I know all sorts of useful things..."

The poor creature seems genuinely contrite. "What's your name?" I ask him. "I could tell you - really I could - but it might be better if you guessed it for yourself." He sounds sincere enough...


Then milk Daisy Patience. She is still having her lunch.
Get some rennet to make the milk curdle. (you might have to ask Daisy ...)
Alternatively, use the vinegar that usually comes with a Chinese meal. All in good time.
Simon Downham (Beroean)
Posted on Wednesday, December 28, 2005 - 7:01 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

One more thought, has daisy or any of the other animals met the call of nature as yet? If so, I fear that you may need to collect any business that has been completed.

Maybe I have in mind a similar idea to Ostap, in that four milk curds might do the trick if you drop them down from the hayloft to the floor of the barn. However I am beggining to wonder if four cow pats are what the doorkeeper has in mind, so that rather than four falling curds it would be something else falling instead!
Simon Downham (Beroean)
Posted on Wednesday, December 28, 2005 - 7:03 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Welldone Ostap, we have an axe!
Is the dwarf sticking around?
His name isn't Henry is it?
David Burn (Woubit)
Posted on Wednesday, December 28, 2005 - 7:09 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

By Simon Downham (Beroean) on Wednesday, December 28, 2005 - 07:01 pm:

One more thought, has daisy or any of the other animals met the call of nature as yet? Of course. But they have been as discreet about the whole affair as one would expect creatures of taste and discernment to be. If so, I fear that you may need to collect any business that has been completed. I would really rather not. If that's all right with you.

Maybe I have in mind a similar idea to Ostap, in that four milk curds might do the trick if you drop them down from the hayloft to the floor of the barn. And a very fine idea it is :) However I am beginning to wonder if four cow pats are what the doorkeeper has in mind, so that rather than four falling curds it would be something else falling instead! Once again I (woubit) am amazed at the resourcefulness of those who have joined in this puzzle. On this occasion I've let it go as far as I think it ought to go, however. You do not need falling curds, nor falling turds, to get out of this barn.

You also do not need me (the person in the puzzle) to be wearing a suit of armour any more. Would you mind awfully, therefore, if I were to remove it?
David Burn (Woubit)
Posted on Wednesday, December 28, 2005 - 7:11 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

By Simon Downham (Beroean) on Wednesday, December 28, 2005 - 07:03 pm:

Well done Ostap, we have an axe! Indeed we do - congratulations :)
Is the dwarf sticking around? The dwarf is not only sticking around, but seems most anxious to be of service.
His name isn't Henry is it? It is not, nor is he French :) You will not need any more Henrys for the rest of the puzzle, I assure you.
Simon Downham (Beroean)
Posted on Wednesday, December 28, 2005 - 7:13 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Well that's a relief!
Yes, of course, please divest yourself of that suit of armour, it must be getting pretty uncomfortable.

As for what we need to placate the doorkeeper, I'm still guessing. I had wondered if it could have been falling bards but there doesn't seem to be a bard insight, apart from your good self, that is.

Do you think it's "falling" anything, or aren't you allowed to say? ;-)