Archive through January 02, 2006 Log Out | Topics | Search
Moderators | Register | Edit Profile

Lateral Puzzles » Solved Lateral Thinking Puzzles » Solved Puzzles - January 2006 » [woubit] Never did run smooth » Archive through January 02, 2006 « Previous Next »

Author Message
Simon Downham (Beroean)
Posted on Monday, January 02, 2006 - 6:15 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

So we are retaining "Du côté de chez Swann" but what is the translation of it that we are working with here?
David Burn (Woubit)
Posted on Monday, January 02, 2006 - 6:27 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

By Lynne (Lynne) on Monday, January 02, 2006 - 06:08 pm:

Good point - you don't know who will be your next doorkeeper, tollbooth operative {or perhaps "trollbooth}, whatever. Could 'he' in fact be a 'she' or perhaps more than one 'she'? I will report back once I have been to the exit...

...where the door is guarded by a Valkyrie. She is riding a winged horse and wearing a helmet. In her right hand, she holds a spear.


With the two books - you have enough money to buy Six Swans by the Chuckle Brothers, sorry Brothers Grimm, with enough left over to have your hair cut, beard trimmed and a mango sorbet each for you and Albert (if you so wish) - and tada you'd have seven swans for women. Very well.

I purchase "Six Swans" from Albert - I still have "Swann's Way", of course. I take them to the exit and present them to the Norse on the horse. "Here you are", I say. "Seven swans for women."

She looks at me. "Unfortunately", she says "my true love is a great warrior, slain in battle and chosen by me to enter Valhalla. What he tends to go in for is slaughter and pillage - he's not really much of a reader."

Oh, well. I return to the ice-cream parlour and order mango sorbet all round. Then I enter the hairdresser's. I don't have long to wait before I am shown to a chair and a towel is placed around my neck.

"Turned out nice again", I say to the elderly gentleman who begins to cut my hair.

"That depends", he replies. "To say that it has 'turned out' implies that the world is a priori aleatoric, and fails to valorize certain deterministic principles that are not incompossible with observable meteorological phenomena."
David Burn (Woubit)
Posted on Monday, January 02, 2006 - 6:31 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

By Sara DeNunzio (Tehanu) on Monday, January 02, 2006 - 06:13 pm:

OK, Let's investigate the hairdreser's and the exit. ^_^ Good idea :) See above for the results so far.

By Simon Downham (Beroean) on Monday, January 02, 2006 - 06:15 pm:

So we are retaining "Du côté de chez Swann" but what is the translation of it that we are working with here? We may as well go with "Swann's Way", since that is the most usual. Judging by the reaction of the Valkyrie, however, it seems that we might as well have flogged it after all.
Lynne (Lynne)
Posted on Monday, January 02, 2006 - 6:41 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

So it's Val at the exit. We don't have to fit Yggdrasil into the gift list do we? Not a lot rhymes with it. And certainly not swan.
David Burn (Woubit)
Posted on Monday, January 02, 2006 - 6:50 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

By Lynne (Lynne) on Monday, January 02, 2006 - 06:41 pm:

So it's Val at the exit. We don't have to fit Yggdrasil into the gift list do we? We do not :) Not a lot rhymes with it. Indeed. One wonders how they managed to write all those Eddas. And certainly not swan.
Lynne (Lynne)
Posted on Monday, January 02, 2006 - 6:56 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

You're still sure we're not wasting our time with Proust?
David Burn (Woubit)
Posted on Monday, January 02, 2006 - 7:00 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

By Lynne (Lynne) on Monday, January 02, 2006 - 06:56 pm:

You're still sure we're not wasting our time with Proust? I think that the usefulness of Proust may for the moment be regarded as of secondary importance.
Lynne (Lynne)
Posted on Monday, January 02, 2006 - 7:24 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Did you succeed in hatching the eggs? You didn't seem too sure earlier.
David Burn (Woubit)
Posted on Monday, January 02, 2006 - 7:28 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

By Lynne (Lynne) on Monday, January 02, 2006 - 07:24 pm:

Did you succeed in hatching the eggs? You didn't seem too sure earlier. I have not attempted to hatch the eggs. I believe that to do this may involve certain conditions which are not easy to provide at the moment.
Johanna (Buzzard)
Posted on Monday, January 02, 2006 - 7:31 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Could you ask the hairdresser his name and where he studied philosophy? Or would the answer just be nonsense?
David Burn (Woubit)
Posted on Monday, January 02, 2006 - 7:37 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

By Johanna (Buzzard) on Monday, January 02, 2006 - 07:31 pm:

Could you ask the hairdresser his name and where he studied philosophy? Or would the answer just be nonsense? "I am", he says, "Professor Henry Snowball of the University of Trans-Moravia. And I am not a philosopher. I am a climatologist."
Simon Downham (Beroean)
Posted on Monday, January 02, 2006 - 8:33 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Okay I'm a bit l'ost on this one. I've never read any Proust. Is it to our advantage to sell this remaining work that we posess of his, to the book dealer?

Please could you ask all of the characters in this scene if there is anything they need or any service that they would like us to provide?
Additionally please could you look around everywhere and see if there is anything that we could purchase with our money and if there is anything else we could pick up?

Have we achieved anything so far that will contribute towards our next goal?
David Burn (Woubit)
Posted on Monday, January 02, 2006 - 9:02 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

By Simon Downham (Beroean) on Monday, January 02, 2006 - 08:33 pm:

Okay I'm a bit l'ost on this one. I've never read any Proust. No knowledge of the work of Marcel Proust is required to solve this part, nor any part, of the puzzle. Is it to our advantage to sell this remaining work that we posess of his, to the book dealer? Since it is no use whatever as a present for the Valkyrie's true love, and since we are not going to have time to read it on our journey, we might as well. Additionally, we might as well see whether Albert will give us a refund on the work of the Brothers Grimm.

We are not in a particularly strong negotiating position at the moment, since we are currently having our hair cut by a Professor of Climatology. Albert, however, is a reasonable man. "Let's see" he says. "I can give you a couple of grand for the complete set of A la Recherche du Temps Perdu..."

Professor Snowball drops the scissors with an anguished cry. "I've spent the last five years on a paper about research into lost weather. Don't tell me it's already been published!" he exclaims.

"Relax", I tell him. "These books are about cakes." He seems mollified, then whispers conspiratorially "Well, don't tell that chap over there - he's Professor of Biscuitology at Chubb, and we'd all love to see him taken down a peg or two."

Albert, unperturbed, continues "And of course, "Six Swans" has now been sneezed on by a Valkyrie's flying horse, so I couldn't possibly take it back for more than three hundred. Even then, I'd be cutting my own throat." Several of the barbers glare at him.

We are now £2,450 richer than we were when we entered the shopping centre, making us unique among Christmas shoppers the world over. We no longer have any books.


Please could you ask all of the characters in this scene if there is anything they need or any service that they would like us to provide? Well, the Valkyrie still needs a present for her true love. The third doorkeeper needs to get out more. Daisy, Diego and Henri appear quite content, and Albert is finishing his mango sorbet with the air of a man entirely at peace with the world. Rumpelstiltskin beams jovially at all and sundry, but since all and sundry do not have eyes in their kneecaps, this is a largely wasted endeavour.

Additionally please could you look around everywhere and see if there is anything that we could purchase with our money and if there is anything else we could pick up? The bureau de change is still open. We could buy different money, I guess. There are no other objects available for ready money, not even cucumber sandwiches.

Have we achieved anything so far that will contribute towards our next goal? We have eliminated the literary version of "seven swans". We have yet to explore Sara's notion that people a-trimming may somehow be involved. And we have patience...
Lynne (Lynne)
Posted on Monday, January 02, 2006 - 9:08 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Do we know yet whether we are looking for swans or homonyms?
David Burn (Woubit)
Posted on Monday, January 02, 2006 - 9:14 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

By Lynne (Lynne) on Monday, January 02, 2006 - 09:08 pm:

Do we know yet whether we are looking for swans or homonyms? I (the chap in the shopping centre) haven't a clue :) I (woubit) will tell you that we are looking for things that are not swans but rhyme with swans, and for things that are not swimming...
Ostap Bender (Ostap)
Posted on Monday, January 02, 2006 - 9:15 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

How many barbers are there?
Ask them for their names.
Do you think some of them might be brothers?
Johanna (Buzzard)
Posted on Monday, January 02, 2006 - 9:16 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I suppose we are looking for objects that are specifically useful in heaven. Where we might find such things, I know not. I'll also advance the worthless suggestion that the recipient might be more interested in things a-winning than anything else, although things a-spinning might be easier for us to find.
David Burn (Woubit)
Posted on Monday, January 02, 2006 - 9:31 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

By Ostap Bender (Ostap) on Monday, January 02, 2006 - 09:15 pm:

How many barbers are there? there are nine
Ask them for their names. I have done so. Apart from Professor Snowball, there are:

Professor Rudolph (Chair of Biscuitology, Chubb University)
Professor Dasher (Punctuation, Vim University)
Professor Dancer (Philosophy, Pinhead University, Angel, Venezuela)
Professor Prancer (Comparative Pornography with Statistics, Berkeley)
Professor Vixen (Basketball, Duke)
Professor Blitzen (Kite-flying, Oxford).

There are also a couple of graduate students, who for obvious reasons cannot remember their names.


Do you think some of them might be brothers? I think that some of them might be someone's brother. I do not think, though, that anyone in the salon is the brother of anyone else in it, although Professor Blitzen looks as though he might be vaguely related to Diego.
David Burn (Woubit)
Posted on Monday, January 02, 2006 - 9:37 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

By Johanna (Buzzard) on Monday, January 02, 2006 - 09:16 pm:

I suppose we are looking for objects that are specifically useful in heaven I (woubit) do not know what might have led you to suppose that, but it is not so :) This time, you need seven of whatever you need. Where we might find such things, I know not. If it's any consolation, I have no more idea of what may be useful in Heaven than you do. I'll also advance the worthless suggestion that the recipient might be more interested in things a-winning than anything else, although things a-spinning might be easier for us to find. Score nothing for floccipaucinihilipilification, then.
Simon Downham (Beroean)
Posted on Monday, January 02, 2006 - 9:37 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Let's see what rhymes with swans:
Lens (in France)
Bon bons (as above)
Pons (in the brain)
Nonce or ponce (perhaps)

I don't suppose that assists any of my fellow puzzlers much. I'll think of some more whilst I watch this obligatory TV recording with the family
David Burn (Woubit)
Posted on Monday, January 02, 2006 - 9:41 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

By Simon Downham (Beroean) on Monday, January 02, 2006 - 09:37 pm:

Let's see what rhymes with swans:
Lens (in France)
Bon bons (as above)
Pons (in the brain)
Nonce or ponce (perhaps)

I'll think of some more whilst I watch this obligatory TV recording with the family It may help if your family contains a daughter, particularly if she is thinking of going to Cambridge...
Johanna (Buzzard)
Posted on Monday, January 02, 2006 - 9:43 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Because "heaven" rhymes with "seven", and that's more or less where the lady's true love is. Or perhaps not. I'll be quiet now.