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Simon Downham (Beroean)
Posted on Monday, January 02, 2006 - 9:45 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Just a minute - what about seven dons a trimming?
(They're all Uni bods aren't they?)
David Burn (Woubit)
Posted on Monday, January 02, 2006 - 9:48 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

By Johanna (Buzzard) on Monday, January 02, 2006 - 09:43 pm:

Because "heaven" rhymes with "seven", and that's more or less where the lady's true love is. Or perhaps not. I'll be quiet now. Oh, I see - sorry :( I am finding it hard to keep track of the red herrings I have introduced on purpose, let alone the ones I have introduced by mistake. Make as much noise as you like :)
Lynne (Lynne)
Posted on Monday, January 02, 2006 - 9:53 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Good thinking Simon. If I may also suggest
Seven dons with gin in
David Burn (Woubit)
Posted on Monday, January 02, 2006 - 10:31 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

By Simon Downham (Beroean) on Monday, January 02, 2006 - 09:45 pm:


Just a minute - what about seven dons a trimming? Brilliant :)

I talk to Professor Snowball. "Look", I say, "you couldn't possibly persuade the rest of the professors to come with me to the exit, could you?"

"What's in it for us?" asks Snowball, thus eliminating once and for all the notion that he might be a philosopher.

"Let me see", I say. "If you turn out to be what's required, you will enjoy eternal life among a company of heroes. If not... well, there are seven of you, and I can offer you £349 each as expenses."

"Sounds good", says the Professor of Climatology. After a brief conversation with his colleagues, the eight of us set out for the exit from the shopping centre.

"What are these?" asks Val.

"These are seven dons a-trimming" I explain.

She looks thoughtful. "Trouble is", she says at last, "they're not going to be a whole lot of use around Valhalla, are they? Think about it - what have all the Norse heroes you've ever seen got in common?"

"Hair down to their knees", I acknowledge glumly.

"Right", she says. "That's why your King Alfred was able to beat them so easily. It wasn't that they couldn't fight. It was that they could hardly see."

The seven professors and I trudge back to the barber's shop. I hand over their wages, noting that this leaves me with exactly £7 and not a whole lot to show for it. The ice-cream parlour is closed, and Albert is nowhere to be found.

The bureau de change is still open, though. And although it is now awfully quiet, I seem to recall something about spinning things...
Lynne (Lynne)
Posted on Monday, January 02, 2006 - 10:38 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Seven coins a spinning? (with an Estuary English accent)
Simon Downham (Beroean)
Posted on Monday, January 02, 2006 - 10:42 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Can we fix some makeshift wigs made from the remaining straw from the barn and pop them on the heads of our 7 Dons?

Or we could utelise the golden thread and do the same. Maybe Valhalla will prefer the golden haired wigs?
Mosquito (Mosquito)
Posted on Monday, January 02, 2006 - 10:45 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Perhaps you could change your money for SA rands?

Could you check anyway whether they've got some?

Could you also check and see whether the spinning wheel is able to either produce or take as input seven strands (of gold)?
David Burn (Woubit)
Posted on Monday, January 02, 2006 - 10:59 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

By Lynne (Lynne) on Monday, January 02, 2006 - 10:38 pm:

Seven coins a spinning? (with an Estuary English accent) no need for an accent. Just the right coins...

By Simon Downham (Beroean) on Monday, January 02, 2006 - 10:42 pm:

Can we fix some makeshift wigs made from the remaining straw from the barn and pop them on the heads of our 7 Dons? What makes you think that elderly university professors don't wear absurd wigs anyway?

Or we could utelise the golden thread and do the same. Maybe Valhalla will prefer the golden haired wigs? Perhaps. But I think that what Val's true love wants for Christmas is something that might look like plunder. Coins, perhaps...

By Mosquito (Mosquito) on Monday, January 02, 2006 - 10:45 pm:

Perhaps you could change your money for SA rands? I could, but...

Could you check anyway whether they've got some? ...as it happens, they do not.

Could you also check and see whether the spinning wheel is able to either produce or take as input seven strands (of gold)? I have asked Rumpelstiltskin about this. He says that spinning straw into gold is a complex business, and that the number of strands input needs to be a power of two. Otherwise, the spinning wheel stops and outputs a "parity failure" message. He is desperately apologetic about the whole business, so I guess that just to be sociable, I'll take his word. Mind you, should he seek further employment after leaving my service, he could find a job in technical support anywhere.
Tommy Petersson (Tommyp)
Posted on Monday, January 02, 2006 - 11:09 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Well, we could try the Exchange Office for some common Valhalla currency - like Crowns?
David Burn (Woubit)
Posted on Monday, January 02, 2006 - 11:25 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

By Tommy Petersson (Tommyp) on Monday, January 02, 2006 - 11:09 pm:

Well, we could try the Exchange Office for some common Valhalla currency - like Crowns? We could. But the person behind the counter explains that owing to recent international legislation aimed at preventing money-laundering activities by Martian terrorists, she can deal only in terrestrial currencies. "If Zeus", she remarks, "were to try to seduce Danae by turning himself into a shower of gold today, he'd have a very hard time finding anyone who'd perform the conversion."

I contemplate this for a moment before deciding that I won't have a hope of understanding it if I contemplate it for an hour. As I do so, the man from the ice-cream parlour rushes up to me.

"Here", he says, thrusting a bill into my hand. "Three mango sorbets. That will be £6.99, if you please."

I hand over my seven quid. He gives me a penny in change. I study the list of terrestrial exchange rates despondently.
Mosquito (Mosquito)
Posted on Monday, January 02, 2006 - 11:29 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Are there any East Asian currencies available?
David Burn (Woubit)
Posted on Monday, January 02, 2006 - 11:32 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

By Mosquito (Mosquito) on Monday, January 02, 2006 - 11:29 pm:

Are there any East Asian currencies available? Just about every currency on the globe is available here. What would you have me do? :)
Mosquito (Mosquito)
Posted on Monday, January 02, 2006 - 11:33 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

You are in luck. South Korean Wons are very tiny, and you can get many more than seven for a penny.
Simon Downham (Beroean)
Posted on Monday, January 02, 2006 - 11:36 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Okay, so the Valkyrie isn't interested in the snipping professors but wants something resembling loads of money or similar?
Lynne (Lynne)
Posted on Monday, January 02, 2006 - 11:39 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Sounds like Mosquito's Seven Wons are Winning :)
Simon Downham (Beroean)
Posted on Monday, January 02, 2006 - 11:45 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I see.
Seven Wons hmm
..
winning / spinning or perhaps skimming?
Something else?
Mosquito (Mosquito)
Posted on Tuesday, January 03, 2006 - 12:00 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Could you try to set them spinning, and if this doesn't work contrive to win this sum from Rumpelstiltskin at some card game, or...
David Burn (Woubit)
Posted on Tuesday, January 03, 2006 - 12:15 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

By Mosquito (Mosquito) on Monday, January 02, 2006 - 11:33 pm:

You are in luck That, as they say, will be the day :) South Korean Wons are very tiny, and you can get many more than seven for a penny. Indeed :) At the current exchange rate, a penny would buy me about seventeen Korean wons.

I hand over a penny, which is all I have. The bureau de change clerk pushes several buttons on her calculator, hands me an invoice a yard long, and demands my passport. They always seem to do this, which bewilders the life out of me. Fortunately, she counts seven coins into my hand - the rest, no doubt, is commission.

I reflect for a moment, since somehow I have to make these coins spin. Fortunately, I still have a contraption I made a while back out of wood, gold thread, and Gouda cheese. It didn't work then, but it will work now - I suspend the coins from the frame, add a handle by which the mechanism can be cranked, and approach the Valkyrie once more.


By Simon Downham (Beroean) on Monday, January 02, 2006 - 11:36 pm:

Okay, so the Valkyrie isn't interested in the snipping professors but wants something resembling loads of money or similar? Very much so :)

By Lynne (Lynne) on Monday, January 02, 2006 - 11:39 pm:

Sounds like Mosquito's Seven Wons are Winning The Valkyrie examines my offering briefly. "Seven Wons a-spinning!" she cries. "Pass, friend!"

The exit door from the shopping centre swings open. I walk through, and find myself in...
David Burn (Woubit)
Posted on Tuesday, January 03, 2006 - 12:34 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

By Simon Downham (Beroean) on Monday, January 02, 2006 - 11:45 pm:

I see.
Seven Wons hmm
..
winning / spinning or perhaps skimming?
Something else?

By Mosquito (Mosquito) on Tuesday, January 03, 2006 - 12:00 am:

Could you try to set them spinning, and if this doesn't work contrive to win this sum from Rumpelstiltskin at some card game, or... Done is done :)

As you may have gathered, I had a half-baked idea when I started this nonsense, and that it's gone on as long as it has is a tribute to you solvers, who have come up with far better solutions than I could :)
Lynne (Lynne)
Posted on Tuesday, January 03, 2006 - 12:35 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Eight Pinter's Pauses? :O
Lynne (Lynne)
Posted on Tuesday, January 03, 2006 - 12:37 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Oops - you were writing :O

Anybody else finding the forum itself incredibly slow? Each posting takes ages to get through. It's the only site that's like it at the moment.
Simon Downham (Beroean)
Posted on Tuesday, January 03, 2006 - 12:45 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Yes I'm having the same problem Lynne