ROUND ROBIN STORY: The X-Files Feline... Log Out | Topics | Search
Moderators | Register | Edit Profile

Lateral Puzzles » Solved Lateral Thinking Puzzles » Solved Puzzles - October 2011 » ROUND ROBIN STORY: The X-Files Feline Origin Story « Previous Next »

Author Message
Fionakelleghan (Fionakelleghan)
New member
Username: Fionakelleghan

Post Number: 310
Registered: 7-2011
Posted on Monday, August 15, 2011 - 10:17 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

It was an hour before dawn.

The cat in the cramped office had eaten nothing but tinned tuna for ages. Those first several weeks, tuna had tasted great. But he didn't know that he was missing nutrients, and he was pretty sure that one of these days he would climb on top of the desk and barf all over the man's spreaded papers, maps, and files.

He had learned very little in this inclosed space, but one thing he knew was that the man behind the desk used to point at a flat thing on the wall behind his chair and declaim, "The Truth is Out There."

Fine! Good! Let's go find the truth that is out there!

The cat had been watching (he had no idea how long) for an opportunity to force his way through the corner of a torn screen window near the small room of the small man who used brooms.

But the chance was NOW.

Now. Now, now, now, NOW! Go, get going, keep going!

He lost two whiskers, and his tail and hip ached where they had been scraped.

Next he had to climb up a small weedy embankment (he had not known the man's office was underground), but he was outside now.

The letters upon the building that spelled "Federal Bureau of Investigation" meant nothing to him.

The sun had not risen, but his feelings expanded into joy. He could smell everything! He could hear birds; could hear cars snoring their way into the parking lot (which he had never seen before); the wind swept in his direction the wrapper of what had recently held fragments of meat and bread and bits of lettuce and ketchup. He pounced upon it; found it not very good to taste, but very good to taste as his first taste outside of that small office.

And now that he was outside, he felt the strongest creature ever.

The man had told him, endlessly, while the cat relaxed on his lap, that there were horrible machinations going on "Out There" – that the man had a responsibility to discover these horrible things. And that he was a lucky cat, to live without responsibility.

Yeah, right. The man had no idea about the homing instinct nor the horny instinct.

But now he was free!

And as he was leaping around, tugging at grass, sniffing at some creature's poop, allowing himself a mad dash toward a log, and then a scramble along it and then a skittering away –
That was when he saw the other cat.

Female by smell and female by personality. She wiped her face, turning slightly away, as though she had noticed nothing.

But he could not resist; his heart was up there with the tree tops and the clouds.

He strolled over, trying to think of something suave in the manner of "will you be wanting sex any time soon?", but she forestalled him.

"Your first time out? You're lucky, then, most of THEM aren't here yet. Were you let out to pee, and are you going right back in? If not, I'd like to talk with you."

He was delighted by her forwardness.

Then she said, "What's your name?"

He did not understand the question.

"Well, maybe I'll tell you MY name, after we've talked a bit. But, if you don't mind, there are more and more humans arriving all the time. My human tells me it's safer to stay indoors with her."

The male cat, happy to have something to contribute, said, "My human always says that The Truth is Out There, so I want to find the truth. Do you want to come with me?"

The female cat suddenly found a reason to lick her shoulder, and then she began to step, carefully, in a "Nothing's Happening Here" sort of way, toward the hedge that bordered the parking lot.

When she had crouched under a bush with leaves that were blinking gold as the sun rose, she said, "My human says that there are all sorts of truth. I don't always understand her."

"I don't always understand my human, either. In fact, usually I don't."

The female cat said, "She once said to me, 'If you could go outside, into a field, where there were lots of rats playing, would you go hunt there?'"

The male cat's stomach rumbled.

"Then she said, 'But if there was a single large rat in here, and it wanted to bite me, would you stay here and fight it, or would you go outside'?"

The male cat was pondering this – both seemed really attractive options – when the female cat said, "Oh, no, look at that! If you want to keep talking, we have to move, NOW!"
Abc (Abc)
Moderator
Username: Abc

Post Number: 271
Registered: 7-2006
Posted on Monday, August 15, 2011 - 1:36 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I'd like to participate, but those who know me are well aware that me and round-robin stories do not go well together. Before you know it, you're up to your neck in governmental tongue-inspectors, big, fluorescent hands pointing at unfortunate theatre-audience members and what have you. But I will be following the story. (:
Galfisk (Galfisk)
New member
Username: Galfisk

Post Number: 4092
Registered: 9-2009
Posted on Tuesday, August 16, 2011 - 9:12 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

"Oh, I do want to keep talking. Lead on!" They ran along under the hedge, between twigs and trash. The smells of the hedge drifted past, the smells of recently passing creatures. Rat... squirrel... sick rat... dog (phew!) ...human? His human!
Balin (Balin)
New member
Username: Balin

Post Number: 14292
Registered: 4-2010
Posted on Tuesday, August 16, 2011 - 3:23 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

The male cat backed up, shocked. But so did the female. Simultaneously, they looked at each other.

It was the female who spoke first. "What's wrong?"

The male responded, "It's my human. She's been here." To which the female cat's mouth dropped open: "Your human? That's the smell of my human!"

"You mean..."
Fionakelleghan (Fionakelleghan)
New member
Username: Fionakelleghan

Post Number: 317
Registered: 7-2011
Posted on Sunday, August 21, 2011 - 6:27 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Both cats knew they had to reconnoiter to somewhere safe.

They were damned lucky that the she-cat had, at one point, been in a magical place - possibly in Scandinavia - in which she had learned bits of many languages. She wasn't precisely sure which ones. Cats don't really give a damn unless they're being called for dinner.

The magical place had been called Galfisk, or had been ruled by a deity named Galfisk. Something like that.

And she wanted to talk about it, but there was some magic, or spell, that prevented her from revealing any secrets.

The male cat wanted to be polite, so he was thinking of how to seduce her with his next question, when she said:

"The best thing we can do, right away, is to get over to ABC's. Do you know where I mean?"

He hesitated.

Fortunately, cats hesitate all the time, so she barely noticed.

The female cat said, "ABC's is a great place. It's a heaven for us cats. They set out plates of cat food, and fish, and all sorts of lovely food, every morning and evening. Mostly that the humans leave."

"Really?" He had never heard of such a thing. The X-Files man had only given him tuna out of a can. Which is lovely, for a cat, but gets boring, not to mention the lack of essential nutrients.

"Yes!" she said. "Although I advise against the French fries, they leave you very thirsty. And," she added, "I've heard that there's a sort of demon who can tell cats what our REAL names are. And then, if he found us, we'd be REALLY lucky – or we’d really be up the creek without a paddle."

The male cat said, "Yeah, okay. But where do we go to find these plates of food?"

She sighed (cats can sigh, when they want to) and said, "Listen, will you? There's a creature that comes around now and then. It's a Balin, or its name is Balin, or something. And I'm not sure whether it's a person we should follow. Or a creature we should run away from. Are you even LISTENING?"

"Wait," he said, "that's the smell of my human!"

"We've been through this, haven't we?" she said.

And it was at that moment that horror descended from the skies.

Both ducked and ran.


[I can turn this into horror, or a fantastical world, or comedy... actually, I'm best at horror comedy. But MY POINT here is that one of you gets to name the cats.

Hugs all round,
Fiona

PS. Oh, and I have some really scary awful ideas, so if any of you want to give our cats a bit of a meal first, go for it...]
Fionakelleghan (Fionakelleghan)
New member
Username: Fionakelleghan

Post Number: 318
Registered: 7-2011
Posted on Sunday, August 21, 2011 - 6:47 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

[Fiona returns briefly...

Our title was "The X-Files Feline" but that can be improved. And entirely changed for a different story.

Anyone can join in and announce that this is the, umm, "Kitty Cats' Isle" with a skipper and a crew or "Fuzzy-Butt the Vampire Slayer."

(Sorry, Mischka. Now everyone knows I call you Fuzzy-Butt.)

No stress for anyone with this round-robin game. OK?

It's all fun. And it can last for years. Who's counting?
Fiona
Balin (Balin)
New member
Username: Balin

Post Number: 14422
Registered: 4-2010
Posted on Monday, August 22, 2011 - 3:03 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Oh, you never know, this could still become X-Files...

As an aside, check out the other round-robin story; I figured the suggestion made there by Peter365 is better answered by you than me.

Anyway...


It seemed like they'd run a mile before they reached ABC's. Fortunately, there was a pet door set in the wooden ingress. The she-cat turned to the he-cat and said, "Follow me! We'd better hurry!"

Hoping to impress the lovely lady feline, he immediately slipped inside after her. Tumbling forward, he found himself in a large landscape...only it looked like a photo negative; the colors were all switched around. Weird.

He turned to the female cat and murmured, "This is ABC's?"

She didn't respond. She didn't even move. Almost as if she didn't hear him....

So he sauntered closer and shouted, "HEY! THIS IS ABC'S?"

Shocked out of her trance, the she-cat jumped back and answered, "No...something's wrong..."

As another aside, how is the word "sh*g" censored by the forum (as is the subject -- sort of -- of an archived puzzle), but the f-word isn't?
Sundowner (Sundowner)
New member
Username: Sundowner

Post Number: 876
Registered: 6-2003
Posted on Wednesday, August 24, 2011 - 1:21 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

"I see that something is wrong", he said. "Let's get out here. I guess there are more places where we can have dinner."

"No .. wait, I want to know ..
What did we do? We entered the building through the flap. Normally, we should now be in a kind of corridor, a door to the left goes into the kitchen, and at the end of the corridor is the office where the Balin sits and when we go there he would give us food.
But where are we now ..?"

He makes a few steps. "OK, the grass feels like grass and smells like grass. Seems to be quite normal except for the strange colors."

For a cat that one day before did not even know how grass feels this was a reasonable conclusion.

The cats stepped a few yards through the red grass, carefully, cautiously. They reached a kind of fence, possibly of a farm or garden, guessing from the smell of ripe fruit that emerged from behind it. A male human was sitting on a bench.

He turned to the cats when he noticed them.
"Hello Cyra kitteh. Do you want to eat? Come on, I'll just get some food for you and your friend. I got some nice chicken today for you. Cyra, kitteh, come."

Cyra loved chicken. She would do everything for chicken. (OK, maybe not everything. Just everything that is acceptable for a decent cat.) But at this very moment every single part of her body froze.

This human, whom she had never seen before, knew her real name!

There is an old legend in the feline tribe: You should never say your real name to a human because then he might inflict the evil on you. From generation to generation cat mothers tell this legend to the kittens. Most cats consider it a nice piece of folklore, with little or no practical relevance. And in fact, humans are so inventive when it comes to calling a cat, it seems that the cat's real name does not matter to them at all.

But now? He said her name.
What will happen now?

"Chicken is chicken, and hunger is hunger", says the he-cat. "Let's go with him."

And the man put two nice plates with chicken in front of them. The he-cat sniffed, licked, took a small bite. Not bad. Not bad at all. He decided to try, carefully, and after half a minute he was happily munching. To comfort himself in this strange situation he started to purr. A few seconds later he noticed that Cyra was purring, too.

The meal was amazing, tasty, wonderful, satisfying. The he-cat looked around.
Still the grass was red and the sky was yellow. Argh!

"THIS IS NOT REAL. THIS CAN NOT BE REAL", he shouted into the air.

"It is as real as you want", said a feline voice from somewhere over there. "Everything is as real as you want here in the Nexus. .. oh sh.t, wrong set. Take this out please, I'll start new".

"You must decide this for yourself, like any cat", said a feline voice from somewhere over there. "Keep your eyes open and trust your mind."

A female cat, black and white, came over. (Not bad, actually, thought the he-cat.)

"How did you get here, Laima?", asked Cyra.
Sundowner (Sundowner)
New member
Username: Sundowner

Post Number: 877
Registered: 6-2003
Posted on Wednesday, August 24, 2011 - 1:26 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

@ Balin: "Sh.g" is censored because it has a second meaning (pipe tobacco). Therefore, anybody who wants to use the word for pipe tobacco is warned that the word has a different meaning which can be taken offensive.
Somebody who is using the f-word does not need a warning that the word can be misunderstood. It is clear in its meaning.
Abc (Abc)
Moderator
Username: Abc

Post Number: 283
Registered: 7-2006
Posted on Wednesday, August 24, 2011 - 11:00 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

As another aside, how is the word "sh*g" censored by the forum (as is the subject -- sort of -- of an archived puzzle), but the f-word isn't?

Good question. Mainly because the moderators are unable to go through all puzzles and inspect them for improper language. I have now intervened. Fiona, you have good ideas and a sympathetic style, but please mind your language.
Abc (Abc)
Moderator
Username: Abc

Post Number: 284
Registered: 7-2006
Posted on Wednesday, August 24, 2011 - 11:16 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

But MY POINT here is that one of you gets to name the cats.

Oh my... this is a temptation almost too great to withstand. I simply love to name the characters in other people's puzzles, to my own delight and the other puzzlers' great dismay. Here are some suggestions that I might well come up with:

Bolfarp
Coff
¤
Hubxev (or perhaps Vexbuh, I cannot decide which I like better)
Xq2f

Perhaps the naming is better left to others?
Peter365 (Peter365)
New member
Username: Peter365

Post Number: 3673
Registered: 1-2007
Posted on Monday, October 03, 2011 - 3:54 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Strangely enough our very own woubit ran a puzzle about the word sh*g being censored. It's in the August 2007 solved puzzles section. It's called "That a cherry was as red"
Balin (Balin)
New member
Username: Balin

Post Number: 15140
Registered: 4-2010
Posted on Monday, October 03, 2011 - 5:14 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I know, and I was reminded of that in one of my recent puzzles that involved a sh*g broom.
Fionakelleghan (Fionakelleghan)
New member
Username: Fionakelleghan

Post Number: 399
Registered: 7-2011
Posted on Wednesday, October 05, 2011 - 10:22 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

[Fiona kitteh will be as sweet as sugar from now on. Promise.]

... "It is as real as you want," said a feline voice from somewhere over there. "Everything is as real as you want here in the Nexus. .. oh, wrong set. Take this out please, I'll start new."

"You must decide this for yourself, like any cat," said a feline voice from somewhere over there. "Keep your eyes open and trust your mind."

A female cat, black and white, came over. (Not bad, actually, thought the he-cat.)

"How did you get here, Laima?" asked Cyra.

He-cat stared, almost glared, at Cyra. Down in the X-Files basement, *he* had been the cat who knew everything. Well, lots of stuff.

Cyra knew Laima, and Cyra apparently knew more than *he* did.

He-cat was impulsively attracted to Cyra, but he trotted over to Laima, his tail held high, and said, "I think we are - by no compulsion of our own - in a competition to find what's real. But I am used to hard thinking."

He paused and brushed his whiskers across his shoulders, first to the left, then to the right, and continued, "I am sure I know what the Reality Out There is."

He paused for Laima to speak. She waited, looking a little to the side.

In dog-language, the dog who looks away is the one who has lost the argument.

In cat-language, the one who looks away is the winner. He-cat knew that Laima was dissing him.

In equally-dissing response, He-cat sprawled on his back, his hind legs kicking in pleasure and then sagging in greater pleasure, leaving his fluffy tummy open to the weird sky.

Then he rolled over, stood up, and said, "Cyra, Laima, I have heard whispers, I've heard scary things. There is a place called Sundowner. Maybe, in that place, I can learn why the colors here are not what they should be.

"And, maybe," he whispered, "we might actually learn that age-old mystery about The Cat Who Walked Around the Horses. You do know what I mean? The Cat Who Walked Around the Horses and Disappeared. Or, maybe he turned up feral. But you ladies are my only hope!"

"Your only hope of what?" Cyra asked.

He-cat hadn't expected a riposte (he still thought in terms of battle).

"My only hope of answers!" he said. "I thought that the Balin would be an enemy to fight. Or a great friend who will fight for us. If we have to fight. I thought that I would recognize colors. I want to know what the Nexus is. I want to know where to get more yummy chicken. But mostly, I want to know what, or where, Galfisk is, and if Tonksin is only a myth."

"And?"

"And what? Am I ready to discover the breach between our world and another? Am I ready to try to decide which of you lady kitties I am going to love most? Am I ready to be Frodo, and beg you to help me to get up the mountain?"

"No, he-cat. Are you ready to be named?"
Fionakelleghan (Fionakelleghan)
New member
Username: Fionakelleghan

Post Number: 400
Registered: 7-2011
Posted on Wednesday, October 05, 2011 - 10:41 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

(And then they warned him: There is an old legend in the feline tribe: You should never say your real name to a human.

So He-cat promised. Give me a name. No one except you will ever know it.)
Fionakelleghan (Fionakelleghan)
New member
Username: Fionakelleghan

Post Number: 401
Registered: 7-2011
Posted on Wednesday, October 05, 2011 - 10:52 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

He-cat had had a long day. He was willing to take a nap while others thought up a name for him.

But as he fell asleep, he also woke up.

"There was a pet door set in a wooden egress."

He wanted to learn what name they would give him, but that could wait.

He had to push his nose through the pet door, and sniff.

Strange smells. And a sense of tumbling...



(Aww ... heck. Folks, I have no sense of smell, since the age of 2. I *LOVE* reading descriptions of smells. Please, anybody, write in some smells, okay?)
Kayleetonkslupin (Kayleetonkslupin)
New member
Username: Kayleetonkslupin

Post Number: 4478
Registered: 9-2010
Posted on Wednesday, October 05, 2011 - 11:28 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

It was the smell of cheezburgur!!! =) (at least, I hopez so...juicy meat, and yummy bun (which smells...bread-like...=) ) and of course teh best bit is teh cheez!!!!!)
Fionakelleghan (Fionakelleghan)
New member
Username: Fionakelleghan

Post Number: 406
Registered: 7-2011
Posted on Thursday, October 06, 2011 - 6:25 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

(Aww, honey, I knew I could count on you!

And, she asked sternly, HOW many cheezburgur have you had, or given to kittehs, today?

I like unusual cheez on burgurz, like Havarti goodness.

You described bread smell. What about burger smell??)

And of course, you are advancing the plot, yes? Yummy eatz in immediate future of story!
Kayleetonkslupin (Kayleetonkslupin)
New member
Username: Kayleetonkslupin

Post Number: 4555
Registered: 9-2010
Posted on Monday, October 10, 2011 - 7:48 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Of COURSE is burger smell...all cheez an juicy meatz grilled an stufz!! =) but no onionz 'cause kaylee kitteh nawt likin. Other kittehz can haz if wantz, but stayz awai from kaylee kitteh'z cheezburgur with them, kplzthnx.

(Also, fiona kitteh, kaylee kitteh wonderz if yuo can lookz at mai 'sister wives' puzzel...)

Add Your Message Here
Post:
Username: Posting Information:
This is a private posting area. Only registered users and moderators may post messages here.
Password:
Options: Enable HTML code in message
Automatically activate URLs in message
Action: