[WiZ] Uptown Defunct

[WiZ]

So, today I solved a problem at work using a single piece of office equipment. It was a piece of equipment designed to solve the problem I had. But the equipment was completely defunct. How did I nonetheless use it to achieve my goal?

Likely quickie, but I like it. Caveat earlispoilor.

[Westing1992]

Defunct meaning not working? Or obsolete?
Was the equipment electronic? A computer? Printer? Phone? Fax?
Office supplies? Stapler, for instance?
Was it from the breakroom? A coffee maker? Microwave?

[WiZ]

Defunct meaning not working? this Or obsolete?
Was the equipment electronic? no A computer? Printer? Phone? Fax?
Office supplies? yes Stapler, for instance? no
Was it from the breakroom? no A coffee maker? Microwave? no (no more microwave puzzles after that '7 button' shambles, I promise)

[GalFisk]

Pen? Pencil? Eraser? Paperclip? Hole punch? Shredder? Tape dispenser? Glue? Clipboard? Folder? Binder?

[Balin]

Did you use the object as a paperweight?
Would the object have served its purpose for you if it were functional?

[WiZ]

GalFisk

Pen? Pencil? no to these, although functionally similar Eraser? Paperclip? Hole punch? Shredder? Tape dispenser? Glue? Clipboard? Folder? Binder? no to the rest

Balin

Did you use the object as a paperweight? no
Would the object have served its purpose for you if it were functional? yes, it would have made things a little easier

[Westing1992]

Marker? Highlighter? Crayon? Other writing utensil?
Was it unable to write? Out of ink?
Were you writing something? Drawing? Marking something as important? Crossing something out?

[WiZ]

Marker? yes Highlighter? Crayon? Other writing utensil?
Was it unable to write? yes Out of ink? yes
Were you writing something? this was my original intention, yes Drawing? Marking something as important? Crossing something out?

[Grip]

Wild and stupid guess: Did you substitute your own blood for ink in/on the marker?

[WiZ]

Wild and stupid guess: Did you substitute your own blood for ink in/on the marker? no, but I'm flattered that you think that's consistent with my character. The Office: New Zealand. Rated M for violence, depictions of self-harm, and applied lateral thinking.

[GalFisk]

Were you able to write anything? Did the marker make a relevant noise? Were you going to write something for yourself to read? For someone else? If for someone else, was that person present? WAG: were you going to write down something you just said as a reminder, but the marker made such a horrible squeaking noise that noone would forget it? Was it a reminder to buy more markers? Did you end up just placing the defunct marker there instead of the writing?

[WiZ]

Were you able to write anything? no Did the marker make a relevant noise? no Were you going to write something for yourself to read? no For someone else? yes If for someone else, was that person present? no WAG: were you going to write down something you just said as a reminder, but the marker made such a horrible squeaking noise that noone would forget it? no (interesting) Was it a reminder to buy more markers? no Did you end up just placing the defunct marker there instead of the writing? Yes! Why?

[Balin]

Was the marker only going to be used to label something? Mark something's location?

[Westing1992]

Were you using a whiteboard?

[WiZ]

Balin

Was the marker only going to be used to label something? yes Mark something's location? no

Westing

Were you using a whiteboard? no

[Hobbsicle]

Did the marker have any relevant writing on it? Did it point to something? Underline something? Did you combine it with something else to get across the message? Maybe with another object to form the hands of a clock?

On a side note, did your message get across, or was your lateral brilliance too much for their literal minds?

[WiZ]

Did the marker have any relevant writing on it? yes, good q. Did it point to something? noish Underline something? no Did you combine it with something else to get across the message? hard to give a non-misleading answer: achieving the intended goal in using the marker pen was accomplished through use of the marker pen alone Maybe with another object to form the hands of a clock? no

On a side note, did your message get across, or was your lateral brilliance too much for their literal minds? I achieved my desired outcome - whether by chance or design, I know not. Interpreting the message wouldn't have posed a challenge to most people, unless they were the sort to take every situation strictly at face value.

[hominid]

The writing--was it the name of the color of the marker? Is it relevant which color? The company that produced the marker? "Non-toxic" or something like that? Was the writing put on the marker by the manufacturers?

[LemonCurry]

Was the text on it the same as the text you had intended to write/mark? Or had the same meaning in context?

[WiZ]

Hominid

The writing--was it the name of the color of the marker? no Is it relevant which color? The company that produced the marker? yes! "Non-toxic" or something like that? no Was the writing put on the marker by the manufacturers? yes

LemonCurry

Was the text on it the same as the text you had intended to write/mark? Yes! Or had the same meaning in context? no

So, why had I intended to write the brand of the marker on something?

[hominid]

Is it relevant what company it was? (Crayola? RoseArt?) Do you work for the marker company? Were you trying to make a statement about the company? Categorize markers by their producer? Are any other markers relevant?

[WiZ]

Is it relevant what company it was? yes (NB: puzzle is probably more enjoyable if you work out the name through lateral logic) (Crayola? RoseArt?) no to these Do you work for the marker company? No - although some may mistakenly believe the opposite... Were you trying to make a statement about the company? no Categorize markers by their producer? no Are any other markers relevant? no

[hominid]

Is it a company that only makes markers? Is it primarily known for markers? Is it releevant what your job is? Were you trying to communicate with your boss? Coworker(s)? Clients/customers? The marker company? Someone else?

[WiZ]

Is it a company that only makes markers? no Is it primarily known for markers? Speculating here, but I believe so Is it releevant what your job is? no Were you trying to communicate with your boss? Coworker(s)? this; 'boss' gets included as collateral damage Clients/customers? The marker company? Someone else? no to rest

[hominid]

Did you leave the marker out for people to see? Or did you show it to people directly? Does your workplace often use markers? Is the type of marker relevant?

Is the company's name a synonym for some other word that is relevant to your job?

[peter365]

Were you labeling something? Using a post-it note? Marking it as belonging to you? perhaps a food item in a fridge? Would you have been writing on paper had the marker worked? or on an object?

Lomgshot WAG: Did you use a BIC to label the Biccie Barrel?

[WiZ]

Hominid

Did you leave the marker out for people to see? yes Or did you show it to people directly? no Does your workplace often use markers? yes Is the type of marker relevant? only insofar as the brand

Is the company's name a synonym for some other word that is relevant to your job? no

Peter

Were you labeling something? yes Using a post-it note? yes Marking it as belonging to you? yes! perhaps a food item in a fridge? yes Would you have been writing on paper had the marker worked? yes or on an object? this could also have worked

Lomgshot WAG: Did you use a BIC to label the Biccie Barrel? no

Very close now...

[Hobbsicle]

So is the brand the same as your actual name? A nickname? Your initials? Your position?

You don't go by "Avery", do you? You're not a pilot, are you?

[WiZ]

So is the brand the same as your actual name? yes - this is all we need

***** SPOILER *****

I had intended to label some beer in the office fridge with my name, but the marker pen had run dry. Fortunately, it was one of these:

http://www.stationerycity.co.nz/media/c ... /51410.jpg

So I just taped the marker itself to the bottle.

A completely naff anecdote: When I was eight years old, I ordered a Mr. Bean themed stationery set. It was a Stephen's brand ruler, but "Mr. Bean" had written all over it. So, instead of saying 'Stephen's Ruler', it said:

This ruler is not Stephen's Ruler, it belongs to Mr. Bean and the only other person allowed to use it is ............

I thought it would look a bit daft to write my name in the blank, so I just left it as is. It actually made my stationery slightly less personalised. Nobody pinched it, at least.

[peter365]

I think I'll have 'Darn I was going to say that' engraved on my tombstone.

Nice puzzle WiZ and I like that you have beer in your office fridge.

[WiZ]

*checks fridge* And wine, and hard cider, and cheese and pate... I love the public sector.

And, I am happy to report, still a 500ml bottle of craft beer with a marker pen stuck to it.