[Balin] E.R.gonomics

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[Balin] E.R.gonomics

Postby Balin » Sat Aug 18, 2018 8:29 pm

Seeing as some readers were... "disturbed" by a few of the Things I Learned From My Patients anecdotes, here is a funny and not-at-all disgusting one.

A man enters a doctor's office with a certain complaint. The doctor asks the man a single question, and the man immediately turns and walks out the door. Why?

Man = H/A/M
Doctor = H/A/either - let's make the doctor a woman, to avoid pronoun confusion. H/A/F
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Re: [Balin] E.R.gonomics

Postby Enjay » Sat Aug 18, 2018 8:39 pm

Does the man tell the doctor his complaint before the doctor asks the question? Complaint = illness/medical issue? Or eg complaint about the service received?
Dos the doctor's question relate to the man's complaint? Does he have an appointment? Relevant?

Does the man misunderstand the doctor? Does he leave because he thinks the doctor can't help him? Because he is angry? Offended? Because his complaint is no longer an issue?

Does the man relevantly return later? Go to another doctor?
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Re: [Balin] E.R.gonomics

Postby Earnest » Sat Aug 18, 2018 10:40 pm

Did the man eventually come back? Or exit the door and did not enter anymore? Did the man forget something?
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Re: [Balin] E.R.gonomics

Postby Westing1992 » Sat Aug 18, 2018 11:41 pm

Was the doctor a general practitioner? A specialist?
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Re: [Balin] E.R.gonomics

Postby Balin » Sun Aug 19, 2018 8:23 pm

Does the man tell the doctor his complaint before the doctor asks the question? Yes
Complaint = illness/medical issue? ThisOr eg complaint about the service received?
Dos the doctor's question relate to the man's complaint? Yes
Does he have an appointment? No Relevant? Mildly

Does the man misunderstand the doctor? No
Does he leave because he thinks the doctor can't help him? Because he is angry? Partially this Offended? Because his complaint is no longer an issue? Mainly this

Does the man relevantly return later? No Go to another doctor? Probably, but this info is not needed for the puzzle

Did the man eventually come back? No Or exit the door and did not enter anymore? Yes Did the man forget something? No

Was the doctor a general practitioner? Yes A specialist?
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Re: [Balin] E.R.gonomics

Postby Earnest » Sun Aug 19, 2018 8:37 pm

Is the illness relevant? Was it relate to: hair? Skin? Flu?
Relevant who was the preceding patient? The succeeding one? Was the doctor visiting a patient? Abilitate to visit? Were it consulting hours?
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Re: [Balin] E.R.gonomics

Postby Enjay » Sun Aug 19, 2018 8:45 pm

Did the patient have a genuine complaint, which was then resolved? Or stopped being a problem for him without actually going away? If so, resolved while he was in the doctor's office? Resolved by the doctor asking the question? Did he have chronic hiccups, and she asked him a question that shocked him so much he was cured...?

Did the patient come to realise that his complaint wasn't real? That it wasn't as bad as he thought it was? That it would go away on its own?

Is it relevant that the man is male? Could this happen with a female patient?
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Re: [Balin] E.R.gonomics

Postby gregoryuconn » Mon Aug 20, 2018 1:26 am

Is this a true story? If not, is it at least plausible? Or was the condition some completely unrealistic one like being turned into a noodle or having cheese coming out of your eyes? Is some pun involved?

WAG: Was the patient a midget and the doctor asked him if he could be "a little patient," and he got offended and walked out?
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Re: [Balin] E.R.gonomics

Postby Balin » Tue Aug 21, 2018 12:26 am

Is the illness relevant? Somewhat Was it relate to: hair? Skin? Flu? None of these; I believe it's a symptom of the flu though
Relevant who was the preceding patient? The succeeding one? Neither
Was the doctor visiting a patient? No Abilitate to visit? Irrel Were it consulting hours? Yes

Did the patient have a genuine complaint, which was then resolved? No! Or stopped being a problem for him without actually going away? See prev If so, resolved while he was in the doctor's office? Yes Resolved by the doctor asking the question? Yes Did he have chronic hiccups, and she asked him a question that shocked him so much he was cured...? Not this time

Did the patient come to realise that his complaint wasn't real? Yes, see above That it wasn't as bad as he thought it was? That it would go away on its own?

Is it relevant that the man is male? Yes Could this happen with a female patient? Possibly

Is this a true story? Yes (well, ROIMBT) If not, is it at least plausible? Or was the condition some completely unrealistic one like being turned into a noodle or having cheese coming out of your eyes? It's not an absurd puzzle Is some pun involved? No (sadly)

WAG: Was the patient a midget and the doctor asked him if he could be "a little patient," and he got offended and walked out? Great guess (and I wish it were right), but this isn't it
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Re: [Balin] E.R.gonomics

Postby Westing1992 » Tue Aug 21, 2018 2:09 am

Was the question in regards to male anatomy? Female anatomy? Related to pregnancy?
Was the question "Did you try...?" with the suggestion being something obvious the man hadn't though of?
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Re: [Balin] E.R.gonomics

Postby GalFisk » Tue Aug 21, 2018 5:01 am

Did the doctor ask if it was self-inflicted? Did the doctor mean to make the patient leave in anger? Did the patient want to trick the doctor? Trick someone else? Had the patient been tricked? Been mistaken? Fever relevant? Respiration? Perspiration? Renal system? Sexual issues?
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Re: [Balin] E.R.gonomics

Postby Earnest » Tue Aug 21, 2018 7:39 am

Was it the first time that the scene took place?
Can we say that with the question asked by the doctor, the patient understood that he did not have a flu? That the aymptoms were not real? That he had no symptomps at all?
Had the doctor been a specialist, would the patient have come to him with the same complaint? Did the man see "Doctor House" ir "scrubs" before asking the question? Was the patient a masked doctor testing the ability of new practitioners? Did the practitiojer expect the patient to immediately turn and go away? Can webassume the practitioner has seen the patient for the very first time and did not know anything about his clinical conditions/medical exams he made...? Did it take place in USA? Insurances ?
Parking lots (e.g. the doctor saw the man coming with his own car and not without an ambulance. Realising that he was able to drive on his own, he ironically asked him wheather he paid the parking)

Did the patient leave suddenly? Was him relieved? Angry? Afraid?
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Re: [Balin] E.R.gonomics

Postby Balin » Thu Aug 23, 2018 2:40 am

Was the question in regards to male anatomy? Yes, but not "that" anatomy Female anatomy? Related to pregnancy? No
Was the question "Did you try...?" with the suggestion being something obvious the man hadn't though of? No

Did the doctor ask if it was self-inflicted? No Did the doctor mean to make the patient leave in anger? No Did the patient want to trick the doctor? Yes Trick someone else? No, but see previous Had the patient been tricked? No Been mistaken? No
Fever relevant? Close enough - the patient claimed to have an incredibly severe headache Respiration? Perspiration? Renal system? Sexual issues?

Was it the first time that the scene took place? Yes
Can we say that with the question asked by the doctor, the patient understood that he did not have a flu? That the aymptoms were not real? That he had no symptomps at all? Yes to all
Had the doctor been a specialist, would the patient have come to him with the same complaint? Probably not Did the man see "Doctor House" ir "scrubs" before asking the question? Irrel, assume No Was the patient a masked doctor testing the ability of new practitioners? Ha! But not this Did the practitiojer expect the patient to immediately turn and go away? Yes Can we assume the practitioner has seen the patient for the very first time and did not know anything about his clinical conditions/medical exams he made...? Yes Did it take place in USA? Yes Insurances? Irrel
Parking lots No (e.g. the doctor saw the man coming with his own car and not without an ambulance. Realising that he was able to drive on his own, he ironically asked him wheather he paid the parking) But this is OTRT

Did the patient leave suddenly? Yes Was him relieved? Angry? This Afraid?
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Re: [Balin] E.R.gonomics

Postby Earnest » Thu Aug 23, 2018 8:30 am

Did the man enter with a wheelchair? On his own legs? Relevant? Did the man try to jump the line by pretending to have headache? Did the doctor notice that the patient did something previously which was not in line with the symptom he pretended to have? (E.g. he listened to very high music on headphones?) Did the man do this in order to get an advantage? (E.g. he wanted the doctor to do something like sign a prescription...others?)

Beard relevant? Was him bold?
Last edited by Earnest on Thu Aug 23, 2018 1:30 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: [Balin] E.R.gonomics

Postby jumpingjacks » Thu Aug 23, 2018 11:26 am

Hmmm... so he claims to have a headache, but the doctor asks him a question about his male anatomy. What a puzzler :D So if it isn't his genitals... is it his prostate? Prostate exam relevant?

He was trying to trick the doctor, in order to be medically exempt from something? Did he want to take the day off sick from work? Did he want a certain medication? Drug addiction relevant? some kind of service (eg military service?) relevant?
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Re: [Balin] E.R.gonomics

Postby Enjay » Thu Aug 23, 2018 7:32 pm

Was the patient trying to obtain drugs?
Did the doctor's question make it clear that the doctor did not believe the patient? Did the patient realise that their pretence would soon be discovered? Did the doctor suggest that whatever the doctor would do would be unpleasant enough to make the patient give up?
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Re: [Balin] E.R.gonomics

Postby Balin » Thu Aug 23, 2018 8:49 pm

Hmmm... so he claims to have a headache, but the doctor asks him a question about his male anatomy. What a puzzler :D So if it isn't his genitals... is it his prostate? Prostate exam relevant? Neither - don't think about anything in the "anatomy" region. (I suppose I should have given that a "Yope" instead)

He was trying to trick the doctor, in order to be medically exempt from something? No, but see below Did he want to take the day off sick from work? No Did he want a certain medication? Yes! Drug addiction relevant? Yes! some kind of service (eg military service?) relevant? No

Was the patient trying to obtain drugs? Yes!
Did the doctor's question make it clear that the doctor did not believe the patient? Yes Did the patient realise that their pretence would soon be discovered? Yes - rather, that the doctor had already figured it out Did the doctor suggest that whatever the doctor would do would be unpleasant enough to make the patient give up? No
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Re: [Balin] E.R.gonomics

Postby jumpingjacks » Fri Aug 24, 2018 2:29 am

Would this drug be consumed orally? taken intravenously?
So the doctor took one look at him, and knew that he wanted the drug for addiction purposes? Was it only his physical appearance that gave him away? Or was it more to do with his behaviour? Was he actually under the influence of the drug at that moment?
Track marks relevant? His facial features? His muscles?
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Re: [Balin] E.R.gonomics

Postby wolfier » Fri Aug 24, 2018 5:36 am

is the type of headache (that was claimed) relevant - headache after heavy alcohol consumption? migraine?
male anatomy - hair or facial hair relevant? is he bald?
did the doctor know it by his facial expression? his voice? his appearance?
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Re: [Balin] E.R.gonomics

Postby GalFisk » Fri Aug 24, 2018 7:02 am

Drug in question: painkiller? Methadone? Stimulant? ADHD medication? Decongestant? Meth ingredient? Antidepressant? Anti-anxiety? Tranquilizer?
Did the doctor suggest a different medicine? A different treatment?
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Re: [Balin] E.R.gonomics

Postby Enjay » Fri Aug 24, 2018 2:54 pm

I think you missed some of Earnest's questions above
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Re: [Balin] E.R.gonomics

Postby Earnest » Fri Aug 24, 2018 5:56 pm

Ups yes thanks!
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Re: [Balin] E.R.gonomics

Postby trebor » Mon Aug 27, 2018 5:19 am

Is the gender of the doctor relevant? Was the man wearing anything relevant? Not wearing something he should’ve been? Is it relevant that typically the patient is in the examining room awaiting the doctor? Assuming the man was in the room first, if he had entered second would the puzzle still work?

Is anything the man did/said in the waiting room relevant? Is the man carrying anything relevant with him? Does the drug he’s seeking have any relevant side effects? Or withdrawal symptoms? Is it relevant specifically what drug it is? Is it relevant why he couldn’t just buy the drug over the counter, if it’s a headache medication?
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Re: [Balin] E.R.gonomics

Postby Balin » Tue Aug 28, 2018 9:17 pm

I think you missed some of Earnest's questions above Sorry! I've got them now

Did the man enter with a wheelchair? On his own legs? Yes Relevant? Not really
Did the man try to jump the line by pretending to have headache? Irrel
Did the doctor notice that the patient did something previously which was not in line with the symptom he pretended to have? Yope! (E.g. he listened to very high music on headphones?) No, but a good guess Did the man do this in order to get an advantage? Yes... (E.g. he wanted the doctor to do something like sign a prescription...others?) Yes, exactly

Beard relevant? Yope! Was him bold? Assuming you mean "bald" - irrel

Would this drug be consumed orally? This, I believe taken intravenously?
So the doctor took one look at him, and knew that he wanted the drug for addiction purposes? Yes Was it only his physical appearance that gave him away? Yes Or was it more to do with his behaviour? No Was he actually under the influence of the drug at that moment? No
Track marks relevant? No His facial features? Yes His muscles? No

Drug in question: painkiller? This Methadone? Stimulant? ADHD medication? Decongestant? Meth ingredient? Antidepressant? Anti-anxiety? Tranquilizer?
Did the doctor suggest a different medicine? A different treatment? No to both

is the type of headache (that was claimed) relevant - headache after heavy alcohol consumption? migraine? Irrel
male anatomy - hair or facial hair relevant? Yes is he bald? Assume No
did the doctor know it by his facial expression? his voice? his appearance? This

Is the gender of the doctor relevant? No
Was the man wearing anything relevant? No Not wearing something he should’ve been? No
Is it relevant that typically the patient is in the examining room awaiting the doctor? No Assuming the man was in the room first, if he had entered second would the puzzle still work? Yes

Is anything the man did/said in the waiting room relevant? No Is the man carrying anything relevant with him? No
Does the drug he’s seeking have any relevant side effects? No Or withdrawal symptoms? No
Is it relevant specifically what drug it is? No, just that it's known to be addictive Is it relevant why he couldn’t just buy the drug over the counter, if it’s a headache medication? I think it can only be given by prescription because of its addictiveness
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Re: [Balin] E.R.gonomics

Postby trebor » Tue Aug 28, 2018 9:30 pm

Was there something in the man’s beard? If so, food? Was his beard relevantly styled? Wet? Well-maintained? Is the colour of the beard relevant? Is it relevantly patchy? Is it specifically a beard we are concerned with here, as opposed to a moustache or other facial hair? Is shaving relevant?
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Re: [Balin] E.R.gonomics

Postby Enjay » Tue Aug 28, 2018 9:32 pm

Did the man have a relevant beard? Moustache? Hair elsewhere? Did the doctor observe something about the patient that suggested he didn't have a headache? That suggested he was addicted to drugs?
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Re: [Balin] E.R.gonomics

Postby gregoryuconn » Tue Aug 28, 2018 10:25 pm

Did he have something caught in his beard?
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Re: [Balin] E.R.gonomics

Postby Earnest » Wed Aug 29, 2018 7:31 am

Did the man pretend to consume the drug regularily? If so, had he consumed on a regular basis, would he have had a beard? To be sure...was the beard real?

Anyway...he did pretend to have flu right? And to have symptoms of flu right? Like having a cold? Mucus relevant? Did he have a part of the beard freshly shaved and not another (e.g. not the one close to the nose)?
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Re: [Balin] E.R.gonomics

Postby Balin » Fri Aug 31, 2018 3:33 pm

Did the man have a relevant beard? Moustache? NO to both. All questions below are answered with this underlying FA in mind Hair elsewhere? Presumably on top of his head
Did the doctor observe something about the patient that suggested he didn't have a headache? Well, not as severe a headache as he claimed That suggested he was addicted to drugs? Just what the patient said

Was there something in the man’s beard? If so, food? Was his beard relevantly styled? Wet? Well-maintained? Is the colour of the beard relevant? Is it relevantly patchy? See above
Is it specifically a beard we are concerned with here, as opposed to a moustache or other facial hair? See above
Is shaving relevant? Yes

Did he have something caught in his beard? See above

Did the man pretend to consume the drug regularily? No If so, had he consumed on a regular basis, would he have had a beard? Who knows? To be sure...was the beard real? See above

Anyway...he did pretend to have flu right? And to have symptoms of flu right? Like having a cold? Mucus relevant? He claimed to have had a severe headache, not necessarily the flu Did he have a part of the beard freshly shaved and not another (e.g. not the one close to the nose)? See above
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Re: [Balin] E.R.gonomics

Postby GalFisk » Fri Aug 31, 2018 3:50 pm

Had the man shaved recently? Would someone with a severe headache not shave this recently? This well?
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Re: [Balin] E.R.gonomics

Postby Balin » Fri Aug 31, 2018 4:11 pm

Had the man shaved recently? Would someone with a severe headache not shave this recently? This well? Got it.

****SPOILER****

(I'm copying the text directly from the SDN forum, with a few clean-ups for ease of reading.)

This was too cool.
34-year-old male headache patient who claims he is allergic to everything but Demerol presents by ambulance to the emergency room early on a Sunday morning.
Patient: "I woke up with the most horrible headache. I couldn't see straight. I couldn't walk. I had to crawl to the phone to call 911. I've gotta have some Demerol right now or I'll go out of my mind."
My partner (for whom I have a new, deeper respect): "So how'd you manage to shave?"
Patient stops writhing around. Quietly gets up and walks out of the ER.
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